Thankful for Second Chances

This morning started off just like any other morning…my alarm went off and I snoozed it, several times, before attempting to wake Colleen up to catch the bus.

“Mama, I don't want to ride the bus today, I want to sleep some more.”  So I let her…I wasn't to keen on rushing around to get her to the bus stop on time either and it's not inconvenient to drop her off at school on my way to work, after all, it's just right across the street.  Then my phone rings with my daily wake up call from my husband who, as a police officer, had already been working for a few hours. Today his call home was running about half an hour behind his normal schedule.

“Sorry, you’ve already missed the bus if you're not already up, I was tied up with an accident and everyone else is tied up on the other end of the county with a fatality accident involving a school bus.”  Upon those words my heart dropped and I silently prayed all of the children were spared. 

Fast forward an hour and the news hit that it WAS a child that has passed and a picture of the bus was also released showing the damage to the front portion of the bus.  Since Colleen rides the bus I know bus drivers typically place the younger students in the front and suddenly the bus wasn't another school’s bus in the next county over, but rather Colleen’s bus and my world was shaken.  You hear about these types of accidents occurring where students lives are taken but you never think it will happen in your area, so close to home, so the feelings of “it could have been my child” doesn't take place, but today it did.  

The damns broke when the news was released that not only was it a student whose life was taken but a sweet 5 year old girl; only a few short years younger then my child, my little girl.  My heart went out to all of the children and their families along with the first responders because situations like these are NEVER easy on them and I knew some of the officers that had responded also had young children.  All I wanted to do was make sure they got a hug because I remember my husband talking about having to shut off emotions when dealing with fatality accidents but how different it was when children were involved, especially when they are so close in age to your own.  

I can't seem to help imagining that this unknown family’s heartbreak was my own, what would I do if it was me getting this news?  What was the last thing I would have said to my daughter as I put her on the school bus?  Would she know that I truly did love her because I couldn't remember when the last time I said those words to her.  What kind of mother can't remember the last time her young child heard the words “I love you” from her lips???  A shitty one! When was the last time I hugged or kissed her?  When was the last time a day went by that I hadn't yelled at her for something?  I DON’T KNOW!!!  And to me that tells me I'm doing a piss poor job as a mother and that reality check sucks!  

I love children, I really do, but for some messed up reason I can't seem to show my own child that.  I volunteer in the church nursery EVERY WEEK and have done so for the past six years but MY child cries to her daddy at night asking why her mommy doesn't love her and I do NOTHING because she had frustrated me to the point of tuning it out.  Who does that?  

As I sit here in tears because not only do I feel like the worst mother in the world but I'm about to post this for the world to see as well, I am grateful.  I am grateful because I have a second chance, a second chance to be the loving mother, the mother whose children will remember the last time they heard “I love you” the mother that kisses and hugs her children every morning before sending them off to school and every afternoon when they get home.  I will be the mother that tucks them in at night with a prayer to keep them safe and allow them a good nights rest.  

It is said that everything happens for a reason…while I'm certain the reason for this tragedy is much bigger then MY second chance to be the mother my child deserves I will not waste it.  I will be praying for all of those affected by this accident, especially for the family of the little angel, may she Rest In Peace.   

Restoring My Purpose

     My last blog post was almost 30 months ago and it’s no wonder why I feel like I’m missing something.   My blog has been a place for me to gather my thoughts; a place to store memories; a place to hold myself accountable.  Without it I have been lost in my own head, only sharing a portion of my thoughts, only looking at half of the entire picture.
A post from May 2014 showed up in my timehop the other day and I re-shared it in honor of police appreciation week and it generated over 250 hits in just 3 days and it got me thinking about what this blog had meant to me.  It really is a place for my mind to wonder and a place where I can be just me.   I’ve always had to write my thoughts down to feel better but as can be seen by the MANY empty journals I have at my house I’ve decided that I need this outlet as opposed to paper.  Paper doesn’t talk back to you, paper doesn’t tell you when you’re wrong or encourage you when you are down.  Even if nobody ever reads any of my posts, the thought that maybe someone will hold me accountable is enough to make me want to post another entry.

  Recently I’ve been struggling with my role as a mom, well, as a parent in general.  When you are a parent to a strong willed child and you yourself are a planner by nature, every day is a struggle.  When my child refuses to listen my brain immediately goes to the “when she’s an adult she’s screwed”.  Is it that big of a deal that my 6 year old refuses to clean out the car?  Yes and No.  I’ve lacked the energy to fight with her so I have been letting it go, even though I know that she needs these boundaries to grow into a functioning/productive adult.   At the same time I need to get myself in a position that will enable me to parent my child without resenting her or anyone else in my family and unfortunately that’s exactly how I was feeling so to save myself from further resentment I’ve let things go because saving myself from THAT was more important than cleaning the car out/taking the clothes to the laundry/cleaning a bedroom or whatever else I’ve asked her to do.  While I am still in planning mode of “how to proceed with parenting” I’ve been reminiscing via my older blog posts and remembering the joys that I have had being a parent.  I came across the post I wrote for Colleen’s Second birthday “Colleen is 2!” where I wrote all of the things I loved so much that she did.  I can still remember her having to help her daddy out of his gun belt and put it into the closet; I remember how she would get SO MAD if he did it by himself.  I remember her always telling him how stinky his feet were (not that they even stunk but I trained her to always tell him they were).  To be honest, prior to re-reading that post I had forgotten all about those moments and it gutted me.  All I remember now is the naughty things she has been doing – what happened to me being able to find the joy in having her in our lives?  THAT has gutted me the most!  As I thought about all of the forgotten memories a post that a friend had posted came to mind...

  As I think about this post I realize how true it is.  At every age there were more firsts but instead of rejoicing in those firsts I have found myself wanting time to hurry to get to the next stage in life in hopes it will get easier.  In the past few years I have focused on what I struggle with in raising Colleen and have forgotten the good that occurred at that age.  I remember being so excited for all of Colleen's firsts until they became a chore.  That first step was amazing but then she was running away.  I have spent so much time thinking "if we can just get through this stage it will be so much easier" that I have missed out on the sweetness of the younger years.  When did she stop singing Old McDonald correctly instead of E-E-I-O and smelling her daddy's "stinky feet"?  She's exchanged being rocked to sleep for daddy to lay down with her.  When did she stop calling yard sales "house sales" and carrying the cat by it's neck?  Most importantly when did I stop seeing the joys of motherhood?
I may not get her firsts back or even recognize when those lasts have passed but I will get the joys of being a mother back one day at a time...

2014

This past year has been FULL of accomplishments and fun adventures.  I haven’t been very good about maintaining my blog for the 15 people that read it – sorry about that.  Nevertheless, let’s rewind the year and go back into the past.  

January through April was like every other tax season; full of late nights and dinner on the go.  There were a few moments that stood out.  Like the night Fort Stewart was bombing at 11 pm and I could have sworn someone was trying to break into the office since the windows were shaking – hence a call into RHPD to come calm my nerves.  The other fun night was again around 11 pm and I just left the office on the way home and ran into a curb resulting in my FIRST flat tire.  Oh the memories…I hope I never do that again.

My husband and I reached our 5^th year anniversary and to celebrate we went on a cruise to the Bahamas!  Since we never officially went on a honeymoon we left the kids at home and celebrated alone.  The whole trip was amazing and very peaceful.  I was forced to relax and not think about anything at home since I could not contact anyone anyway.  I did learn a few lessons – including I do not know enough to win trivia, no matter how many times I played. 

During the summer I took my very last college course EVER and even made an A!  During that class I had the opportunity to share what I have learned with my husband during the final week’s presentations and that was more nerve wrecking than any presentation I had to do in the past because I knew he would see me every day for the rest of my life.  Luckily he loves me enough to not say a bad thing about me. 

In August, Colleen started the pre-K program at her daycare after being advised she was very intelligent and would do much better moving up regardless of her age.  In the first 4 years of her life this was the first time we sent her to “school” every day of the week which gave both my husband and my Mom a break from watching her throughout the week. 

November, my little girl turned 4!!!  Although she had been telling us for the past year she was already 4 she really stepped into the role of being a big girl…she did it a little too well.  She now thinks since she is a big girl she can do “whatever I want to”; we’ve had many conversations about how NOBODY gets to do everything they want to do, regardless of their age. 

I started my own business selling Origami Owl Jewelry on the side after realizing that with graduation comes the beginning of student loan payments.  So I figured, why not.  I rocked my first month and now am ready to take on the New Year. 

December was the most hectic month of the year.  December is always busy anyway with Christmas and vacations but then we added in my graduation for my MBA.  An additional party on top of Christmas parties made for a very busy month.  THEN add a sick little girl who caught the flu and gave it to her mama – yep, Christmas was one not to forget. 

So now here we are, the last day of the year and as I look back I wonder, what did I do wrong or right?  What did I do well this year and what do I still need to improve on?  Did I keep up with my resolutions from 2013 or did I fail?  What do I want to do for this upcoming 2015 year?  To this I say – I have NO clue! 

I generally have a list a page long of what I want to change for the new year, putting way too much pressure on myself resulting in failure so this year I am taking a different approach.  My mission for 2015 is simply to BE A GOOD PERSON and everything else will fall into place.  I figure if I achieve bettering myself in a way that brings people up and not down then it does not matter what size clothes I wear, what I eat, how organized my house and office is…none of that will matter.  So here I am a quick tempered mommy that still has not made cookies for any neighbor and I hope by next December 31^st I will have achieved the patience I long for and my neighbors actually know my name instead of “Mark’s Wife”.  

Finding what's important

What’s Important?  This is my question I have been asking myself for a long time and I am still struggling to figure out the answer.  A part of me constantly struggles with the need to KNOW what I need to do verses just doing what I think I need to do which prevents me from doing anything.  I’m a procrastinator – if I do not have validation in my thoughts or actions I tend not to act.  This goes for work, home, relationships, personal health – basically everything.  This year is going to be a huge transition year for me and I am already struggling to find the balance.  Here I am, 29 years old, the last year of being in my 20’s and I have no real idea of how to prioritize and I still give up before I start.  I am determined to change this year (typical answer to my problems – determination – yet no action); well I fully intend on action this time so I need to find some way to keep the fire lit under my behind.

How are things changing – well, the last eight years of my life have been focused on work, school, weddings and divorces, kids and more school.  Now I’m done having weddings, done having kids and done with school.  I am now “settled” but I’m not…

I currently don’t know where my place is in life; what is my purpose?  Am I suppose to be living day to day or am I suppose to let life lead me to where I am suppose to be?  How much planning am I really suppose to be doing?  If I’m done having kids then I don’t have to plan on more; I’m not going to get married again since my marriage is far from falling apart and my husband is not allowed to die (he’s got to put use to all that training he does to keep himself coming home each night) so what is left to plan?  I understand the need of financial planning and I am doing that so does that mean I am left to do nothing?  I am a planner and when I have nothing to plan I tend to get unsettled, hence the unsettledness I am feeling now.  So if I can’t plan then I need to figure out what is important in life.

A few weekends ago I went up to Atlanta to visit my BFF and one night we stayed up WAY too late discussing what was important in regards to my marriage.  My husband and I tend to bump heads on what is important in our relationship; I tend to think we should improve on some aspects where he seems to never think anything is wrong therefore nothing needs fixing.  Yes, I understand the difference in guys heads verses a woman’s but it is even more complicated than that.  When I put myself in my husband’s shoes I realize how he seems to think the quirks in our marriage are not important to get upset about because he deals with REAL problems every day at work – dealing with the lost, violent, sick, injured people in our society – it’s no wonder he thinks we never have problems because when you compare the two worlds we are perfect.  I don’t have to arrest people, nor do I have to help get people out of the sunroof of a car because that is the only way out; no, I get to

sit in an air conditioned office and categorize expenses – the worst thing I have to do is tell people they owe money to a government agency.  So how do I determine importance?  How do I, like my father says, pick the hill to die on?  I think this is one of the more important things for me to figure out - without a strong marriage everything else around me could easily fall apart.

Fun, yep – that’s another word not used often in my vocabulary.  I want FUN to be a large part of my kids lives, I do know this is important, but in order to do this I must also allow myself to have fun as well.  This past weekend we went to Summer Waves Water Park and it was…Fun.  I dreaded going because I just KNEW taking Colleen would be more work than it was worth.  The day started off with an extremely excited little girl running into our room at O’dark thirty telling us to “GET UP” because we were going to the water park.  Once we got to the park we all rode one slide that allowed children her size to go down and she had FUN – yelling on the way down “THIS IS AWESOME!”  Seeing her have fun allowed me to have fun.  Surprisingly the whole day went really well and the only frustrating time occurred closer to the end of the day when Colleen began to not follow instructions because she was tired and frankly I was tired too so I’m sure I was getting testy too.  Having fun gave me hope that I could continue to do things with her to bring us both enjoyment.  I still don’t want to bring her to the grocery store but I don’t want to take my husband either so maybe that has nothing to do with her age.  Raising non-bratty kids is important to me - the problem here is figuring out where the line is between fun and spoiled...

As I sit here I am struggling with my need to make lots of lists - maybe lists are something i still need to function but I think I need to make daily lists rather than an impossible to achieve list.  So far I know that my marriage and my kids are important and right now I think if I can focus on those two things I will do just fine...

Time to breathe

Time to breathe…

For the last four months my life has consisted of sleep, work and school, papers and deadlines, tests and tax returns and most of all there was no time to breathe. 

This year I worked at least 116 hours of overtime in 2.5 months on top of being away from home for an additional 8 hours a week going to school – yeah, breathing time was not high on the priority list.  My husband was a real champion during this time, not complaining about taking care of Colleen or never seeing me.  He may have been a little fussy one night when I had to call him to rescue me at 11pm from the side of the road because I may have had a fight with a curb and it won, putting a nice hole in the side of my tire – but all in all my time away was pretty uneventful. 

I took my last exam last night, turned in my last paper last week, and now there is nothing to do but wait for grades; not that I really care what grade I make, just as long as I pass.  School is officially out of my mind for the next month and a half.  For the next 49 days I will get to go to work at 9, leave at 5 and actually have time to spend with my family and with myself. 

So my new dilemma – what to do with all this time I will have.  I don’t want to waste the time with mindless TV watching or internet searching.  I want to do something meaningful with my time, something that I will look back on and think it was fun.  I desperately want to be fun…it’s just my non-fun self holding me back.  So I did my traditional “Tanya” thing and made a list…

A few things I really want to do with my time:

1.       DEEP clean and organize my house – I would like to be able to have visitors, however, not being home for the past four months has really done a number on my house work.  Colleen keeps growing and outgrowing toys/clothes as well as her ability to persuade you into buying her more stuff at the store “OHHHH!  Mommy I LOVE THIS!  Can I have it PLEASE?”  Yep – enter guilty absent mommy here and soon you have overabundance of STUFF.

2.       Healthy living – I've been surviving off fast food and junk these past few months, no time to really cook good healthy food or even go to the grocery store so my weight has increased a few pounds – not that I didn't need to gain a few pounds, but my clothes are starting to get tight and after I splurged and bought good clothes I really do not want to have to go up a size. I want to actually plan my meals, exercise, and play outside (which means I will have to brave the bugs) with Colleen and get some color on my pale self.

 

3.       Spend time with Colleen – it was heartbreaking some mornings when I’d leave for work and Colleen would look up at me and say “Mommy, I don’t want you to go to work – can you stay at home with me?”  My sweet baby girl…

4.       Sew/Paint – I know I've been saying I wanted to learn how to sew for years; I have everything I need to do it, except the time.  Now I will have the time to devote to practicing; the same for painting – I really enjoyed going to my painting classes, and while I’m not very good at it, I think I am better than when I first started, therefore I can paint some pictures to replace some of the not so great ones hanging on my office wall – the ones that people keep asking if my child painted…yep – awkward.

5.       Build real relationships – I've always wanted to be the person who took cookies to the neighbors, who people stopped to say “Hello” to, but I’m not that person – YET.  I’m still “Mark’s wife” to the neighbors who even know who I am.  I want to be the dependable neighbor – the one people go to when they need something, emergency baby sitter, a cup of sugar, etc.  I want to have adult conversations with real people and not just post a status on Facebook to have people, who I never talk to, give me their comments on.  I want to have barbecues in my back yard (which means I need to clean up my back yard too – see “What I want to accomplish number 1” and add “Clean back yard”). 

6.       Grow spiritually – I need to discipline myself to reading and studying the Bible, I need to quit relying on my own ability to control things (since we all know how much I like to be in control).  I tend to want instant results in this area – I want to know everything quickly – do everything right instantly – so I guess the first thing I need to work on is my patience.  One step at a time.  I have been able to memorize one Bible verse – mainly because I've written it so many times trying to get it to look nice on my dry erase board…”Don’t be anxious about anything, but in every situation by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God” Philippians 4:6

Most of all I want to live a meaningful life and not just live life.  I want to be intentional with the things I do.  I want to be different, the good different, the different that people can look at and say “I can take charge of my life too” – I want to quit letting the world dictate to me how I am suppose to be, what I am suppose to do.  I want to be the person to make a difference to those around me and I will accomplish this during my new free time, the time I will use to breathe and live life to the fullest.    

Change of tone...

When did my attitude of Colleen change from being proud and excited of every little accomplishment to almost dreading what she will come up with next? 

Last night I was re-reading the posts I wrote on Colleen’s first and second birthdays and was shocked to see how the tone of those posts were so different from the one I had just posted for her 3^rd birthday (which was posted 2 weeks past her birthday).  All of the other posts I had up ON her actual birthday.  Sure, some people will think it’s no big deal but looking back, what was I doing in the past 2.5 weeks that I could not take 30 minutes to write down her accomplishments?  What had my attention?  Most importantly, was it worth it? 

Over the last year and a half, I have missed out on so much of Colleen’s life because of work and school.  For the most part of the last 78 weeks I have missed spending time with her close to 156 nights.  When I decided to go back to school I knew I would be missing out; I knew that she would build a closer relationship with her father than me and I hoped that she wouldn't remember me being gone so much during this time of her life.  Now I wonder how different things would be in our lives had I not been away.  Would she still refuse to go to bed at night or would she have a bedtime routine?  Would she still purposefully dump out cereal on the floor or would she want to help mommy by not making a big huge mess?  Perhaps there was really nothing I could do differently to change the way her little mind works – perhaps it is just the age of terrible twos and trying threes. 

Regardless of how she acts now I need to find a way to relate to her positively; I need to find common ground with her, even if it is switching roles every once in a while like we did this past weekend.  She took the “mommy” role and made me go lie down in my bed and close my eyes while she read me a night night story and rubbed my back. 

She loves to have picnics on the floor with her little plates and cups and REAL food.  The last picnic we had baby oranges of which we had to “Cheers” every slice of orange before I was able to eat it (I admit, I taught her that one).

She loves to color and I’m sure she would really enjoy me coloring a picture with her – maybe that way I could keep her on track of coloring on ONLY the paper and nothing else.  She has this idea that her little desk needs to be colored on to make it pretty…as well as my floor if not careful. 

I have a month off of school until the semester of chaos begins, so I have 30 days to make up for the time I have missed.  I am officially on “Fun Mommy” track and there may or may not be a lot of lists and planning involved but hey, that’s how I work.

Me: Colleen, why did you get upset at church today?

Colleen: Because I Love You Mommy and I missed you 

Colleen is 1

Colleen is 2

Colleen is 3

Colleen is 3!

I knew my life would change the moment I found out I was pregnant.  I knew my sleeping habits would change the moment I gave birth.  What I didn’t know is that I would be woken up almost every morning by a 3 foot curly headed little girl shaking me and yelling “MOMMY!!!  WAKE UP!  I want EGGS!”  Yep; this is how my days begin.  On the off chance I get up first, she makes it known she does not like being woken up by the sounds of my morning routine.  “TURN…THAT…OFF!  You woke me UP!”  Apparently my hair can wait to be dried until her beauty rest is complete.

My sweet little 7 pound 14 ounce baby girl has morphed into a 30 pound independent diva who values doing everything “myself”.  She refuses to ask for help, unless absolutely necessary, and makes sure you know it.  While she has no problem barging in on anyone else when they are in the bathroom she is adamant on her alone time – pushing everyone out of the bathroom “GET OUT!  I will call you if I need you to wipe my butt!”

Over the last year Colleen has become more confident in herself, her artistic abilities, and her ability to help mommy with household chores.  Her speech has obviously improved dramatically, she can sing numerous songs, knows all of her ABC’s and can even point them out as well as spell her name, however most of the time it comes out as “C-O-L-L-E-E-N spells Doodle.” 

She is a Houdini in training and has mastered all child safety locks including the doors, forcing us to install hotel locks up high on the doors so she can no longer get out of the back door, turn on the water hose, and help mommy clean the floor by flooding the living room with that said water hose.  Yep – the moment when you walk out of the bedroom to find your 2 year old with a garden hose in the house with water EVERYWHERE is not a moment you soon forget – nor is it a story that many people can top. 

The last child safety escape was probably the scariest.  I was taking a shower and she was able to get out of the door to the garage, open the garage door, find a PERMANENT marker and had enough time to color around the entirety of my car.  While I was very upset that I had permanent marker on my car with no clue how to get it off, I was more concerned that she was outside, by herself, and could have been seriously hurt had she ran out into the road.  I was then very grateful the marker and car distracted her and kept her closer to the house.  Not a proud mommy moment there. 

We have decided that she is indeed part monkey and after I found her hanging upside down from the iron canopy that hung over my four post bed – well…it is no longer there but that does not keep her from climbing on the top of my head board and jumping off onto the bed.  I’m amazed and SCARRED at what this little girl comes up with. 

Few things she loves to do:

1.       Watch “Super Why”

2.       Feed the animals

3.       Build “Towers”

4.       Jump

5.       Run Around

6.       Play

7.       Color (on herself) and paper

8.       Read books

9.       Ride bikes

1.       Take baths

11. Paint her nails (by herself)

What will this NEXT year bring?  I'm afraid to find out...

Colleen is 2!!!

The past year has brought so many new milestones in my little girl's life...

So much has changed in so little time...

Birthday Mornings

She has learned how to use a fork and spoon to eat, drink from a water bottle and even a big girl cup.

She has learned how to talk and people can even understand her...started out one word at a time and now can carry on a small conversation.  She can tell you what she wants to eat (I want oatmeal) and drink (I want apple juice!) tell you where she wants to go play (I go to park and play), and even what she wants to do (I want to play basketball).  

She has learned to ride her little tricycle using the peddles.  This girl is AMAZING on her bike, she can go forward, backwards, turn into circles, maneuver around furniture and even back right up to something and do a 3 point turn without hitting anything. 

She has a great memory, all you have to do is ask her where she hid Mommy's keys, what she did with the fan remote, or where her cup is, etc. and she goes strait to get the item.  They are usually hiding in her bike trunk or the play kitchen oven.

She knows how to play cook...most adorable thing ever is her asking if I want eggs and watch her go to her play kitchen with the spatula and "make Mommy eggs". 

She knows sounds and recognizes every type of vehicle...the look on her face when she hears an airplane (ayrplane) or helicopter (helekopter)...her eyes get even brighter when she hears a choo choo train and she explodes excitement when she sees or hears a motorcycle (motorkykle).  (If you cant tell by now, she spends ALOT of time with her daddy).

She is a big helper...when her daddy comes home from work she has to help him take off and lock away his gun belt and take off his shoes and socks and tickles his feet (of which her mommy has taught her that they are "stinky feet").   She doesn't stop there...she also helps to put the boots away.  Her favorite helping activity is cutting the grass.  I am sure the neighbors love the fact that she loves to ride with her daddy on the lawn mower for hours...they eventually run out of grass to cut and have to put it away. 

She knows her way around a playground too.  She loves to "whee" ( aka swing) and go really high and go down the slide, sometimes even goes up the slide. 

She says the "God is Great" prayer, can count to 5, sing her ABCs (minus a few letters), twinkle twinkle little star, Jesus loves me, the itsey bitsey spider, and dance to I'm a little teapot.  She knows several of her colors (although if you ask her what color something is...the answer will always be PINK).  She loves to play "the bird" which is my IPad, don't ask me how it got named "the bird" and has even taught me cool tricks on it. 

She LOVES to color and write her name, both Doodle and Colleen and can almost spell her name (she has the C O E E N). 

She is very demanding, when she sits on the floor you have to "sit on floor too!"  She has to do everything on her own "I do it!"

She is good at saving money, every time she finds a coin she has to put it in her piggy bank or in her pocket if we are not home.  Her Grammy has taught her that the small plastic card is "money" and now anything about that size is money too (business cards, ID cards, etc.)

I am SO lucky to be the mommy of this precious little girl!  Mommy loves you Honey, Happy Birthday!!!

Mommy's favorite Colleen sayings/doings...

"I wuv you Mommy!"

"(Insert name here) C'MON!"

Making fishy face

Giving hugs and kisses

"Wub my bak" (rub my back)

"May-I-get-down-please"

"Read book and rock"

"Papow!"

Rubbing Bella's belly

"No touch hinney"

"I pass gas"

"Kitty!  Off Da Table!!"

Least favorite Colleen sayings/doings...

"Mommy, I poopo"

"Bye bye Mommy"