To Serve and Protect

Midway Police Department - 2014

My first real encounter with the police was when I was 16 years old and working at a hotel.  Two men came in wearing ski masks, pointing a gun at me, making me get down on the floor as they robbed the cash drawer.  I was forced to walk out of the hotel and walk towards the back while they ran the opposite way.  By the time I made it back into the office to call the police I couldn’t even remember 911 – I instead called the police department number that was taped to the telephone.  Officers were there within minutes, making sure I was ok, searching the area, taking reports.  The guys who robbed me were eventually caught and are most likely still in jail.  In that moment of need, the police was there for me.

The second time I needed the police was after my first car accident; I ran into the back of another car, it was late at night and I didn’t notice the car in front of me was turning onto a dirt driveway off the main road.  It was loud and scary and being 17, I had no idea what to do.  Luckily someone who lived nearby heard the crash and called the police for me.  Again, they were there within minutes, reassuring me everything would be ok.  There were many more accidents of which the police did the same thing for me, although all other times it was NOT my fault.

An officer had to come by the house once to do a report after my car was broken into while in the driveway.  Most recently I had called the station to have an officer make sure nobody was outside my office at 11 at night after I heard really strange noises.  The officer, after searching the area, waited in the parking lot for me to close everything down to ensure I made it to my car safely.

Yes, I have even had a few officers pull me over from everything from not wearing a seat belt, headlight, taillights, and even speeding.  Every one of these instances fall within a cops job requirements and that is only touching on a few things.  Their job contains so much more.  They are the ones putting themselves between the innocent and the dangerous, many times knowing that they may not make it out of the situation injury free and they do it every day. 

Cops are not the bad guys, yes there are a few bad apples, but there are bad apples everywhere.  Most of these officers are selfless, caring, and honorable.  One officer in particular is the apple of my eye; I have seen the many selfless acts he does, have seen the way he has taken care of a situation leaving everyone peaceful, and I have seen the way some calls have left him brokenhearted.  He has helped people in need along with helping people who got themselves in sticky situations find a way out of the hole they dug for themselves. He is one of the most loyal and honorable people I know…my husband. 

My husband has been a police officer for over 20 years and over those years he has learned a lot about his job and people.  He uses that knowledge to teach others how to stay alive as they do their jobs as well.  He sacrifices his free time to help others learn what to watch out for on traffic stops, how to be one step ahead of everyone else, how to shoot to keep them alive, how to deflect a dangerous situation to a more positive situation.  He trains himself to remain alert so when he is in dangerous situations he will still be able to come home that night. 

Some people forget that there are people behind those badges and those people are mothers and fathers, husbands and wives, sons and daughters – they have a life outside of their job just as every other profession.  People fail to realize if they are on the receiving end of one of the negative aspects of a cops job, it was them who put themselves in those situations, not the officer’s. 

Many people are unaware that this week is National Police Week; a week to honor those men and women who risk their lives daily to serve and protect others.  There are some who give no thought what so ever to the men and women behind the badge just as there are some people who do whatever they can to cause trouble for those officers, and there are some who love and respect those officers for everything they do. 

For those of you who show your appreciation to these officers, thank you!  For those of you who make a cop’s job harder, PLEASE, have a heart to heart with yourself and figure out what you really have a problem with, because I highly doubt the officer is the root of your problems.

I challenge everyone to show some compassion, put yourself in these officers’ shoes and ask yourself, how you would feel doing their job, ask yourself what you can learn from these men and women.  These officers wake up every morning put on a badge knowing it may be the last time they walk out of the house but praying it’s not.  

A POLICE OFFICER'S PRAYER

Lord I ask for courage

Courage to face and
Conquer my own fears...

Courage to take me
Where others will not go...

I ask for strength

Strength of body to protect others
And strength of spirit to lead others...

I ask for dedication

Dedication to my job, to do it well
Dedication to my community
To keep it safe...

Give me Lord, concern
For others who trust me
And compassion for those who need me...

And please Lord

Through it all
Be at my side...

 To those of you who serve and protect, Thank You!  You may never know what a difference you really make. 


Other posts:
Being a Cops Wife
Fear of Single Parenthood

How NOT to have an affair...

So tonight a page I was following did confessions segment for fun – which it was fun and disturbing at the same time. I’m sure I’m not the only one disturbed by the amount of people who cheat on their spouses or significant other. I find equally disturbing the number of people who “like” that fact. Imagine how many marriages would stay intact if people wouldn’t cheat. Do marriages get stale? Sometimes – but that doesn’t mean that you give up and find someone else to fill that void. When you get married you stick it out. Sure, I might sound a little hypercritical since I’ve been divorced and didn’t stick it out but I didn’t cheat. Granted I didn’t wait for the divorce to be final before I continued with my life but the relationship itself was over and there was no going back.

How to avoid an affair…

Have sex – often (read my blog on sex in marriage) – if you are going weeks and even months without sex (and your spouse is NOT deployed) then there is a real danger of you or your spouse straying.

Confess – if you have thoughts of straying tell someone – if you can’t keep yourself honest then bringing a friend or even your spouse into your thoughts can keep you honest. I know if I ever told my husband I was having inappropriate thoughts about someone else he would make sure I was taken care of (not that I’ve had to do this).

Don’t put yourself in a position where you can have an affair – don’t go party and get drunk without someone to protect you otherwise you may find yourself waking up with someone else not knowing how you got there – better yet, don’t drink to get drunk.

Keep your distance – you don’t want to confess everything to someone of the opposite sex to be consoled – you will find yourself liking this person better than your own spouse if you are having problems already in your marriage.

Give your spouse access to everything you own – when you are in a marriage there should be no secrets (other then what you plan on doing special for your spouse). Would it be so bad if your spouse read your emails and logged into your facebook account or even checked your phone to see who you were talking to? If so – ask yourself why – what do you have to hide and should you be hiding that? If you want to keep something private, write a journal – at least it is only you and the paper and nobody else.

Surround yourself with people who have the same values – if you hang out with someone who is cheating on their spouse then they are likely to bring you down instead of preventing you from doing the same thing.

If you find yourself in a position where you think another party might believe you are interested in them be straight up with them. Make sure they are aware that you have no intention of starting anything. The worst thing that will happen is they think you are a little conceded but at least you are on the same page.

Decide not to – if you never give yourself the option to have an affair then you won’t.

Lastly – Respect yourself and others. Just as you wouldn’t want to be cheated on don’t be the one someone is cheating with.

Being a Cop’s Wife

There are a few advantages of being a Cop’s wife…
1. The work rotation leaves several days during the week off so there is no need to pay a sitter.
2. The security of knowing that your husband knows what to do in a dangerous or emergency situation.
3. The confidence of your husband’s driving skills with your family in the car – since after all he drives all day long with no problem and can keep the car on the road going 100+ mph in a chase.
4. Hand cuffs are always readily available for kinky sex (I’m Kidding – but just as a quick plug - my mom does sell Surprise Parties if you ever wanted fuzzy cuffs or anything else like that).

There are also many disadvantages of being a Cop’s wife…
1. Bad shifts – although we have an advantage that Mark rarely works a night shift he does have to work many holidays that we have to work around.
2. Negativity – sometimes when people find out you are married to a cop you get the “I hate cops” speech.
3. Sometimes plans are changed – sure I may have a romantic dinner planned but every once in a while the day doesn’t end at 6 p.m.
4. Potential of your husband having to use deadly force on duty – my husband has had to do this twice in his career – very scary. (See “Fear of Single Parenthood”)
5. Potential of your husband not coming home at all…

Here lately there have been stories upon stories of cops being killed in the line of duty and occasionally even when they were off duty and just trying to help others that they thought were in need. It scares the crap out of me that there are so many people in the world that have no concern of another human’s life. Cops are not the bad guys, they are mothers and fathers, sons and daughters, sisters and brothers just like everyone else in this world. They work every day to keep us safe. Sure you may get pulled over for speeding but whose fault is that that you are breaking the laws and putting other drivers lives at risk??? Not the cops. It is not their fault that you are arrested for breaking the law – it’s yours! You have to live with the consequences of the choices you make. Cops merely do their job and often get a bad rep for it because people think it is unfair that they broke the laws and get caught for it. So many take it to the worst level by killing cops because they are cops. How absurd is that? That’s like someone taking my life because I’m an accountant and they owed taxes this year – stupid right? It’s no more my fault for your tax situation than it’s a cop’s fault that you broke the law.

A cop is more than someone writing tickets and arresting bad guys and if people actually got to know their police officers they would know that. They are the ones helping you when you are in an accident, or when your home is on fire (along side of firefighters), they are the ones running to gun shots when everyone else is running away, they are the ones simply changing your flat tire for the little old ladies who can’t do it themselves, they are the ones keeping your kids from being hit by cars and making sure they make it home safely when they sneak out of the house. There is this stereotypical view that cops are bad. We need to teach our kids the true value of police officer – quit buying them games like Grand Theft Auto where you get into gun battles and run from the police. I’m a firm believer that situations like this numb kids over time to the reality of the situation and they think it’s ok to do things like this in the real world.

I understand that my husband is in a line of work that is dangerous and that one day he might not come home from his shift because some ignorant SOB decided his crimes were more important than my husband’s life or because of an accident. I pray every day that he goes to work that this won’t happen to him but in the back of my mind I know the possibilities of this happening. While sometimes I wish my husband had a different job where I wouldn’t have to worry so much about his safety, I know that this is who he is regardless of a badge or a uniform.

If you don’t get anything out of this post, pay attention to this – this is a man, a son, a brother, a father, and my husband who is out there keeping you safe – don’t take him away because you are selfish – don’t think badly of him or anyone else in his profession because you can’t follow the laws. Pay attention to what you are doing – teach your kids right from wrong – and show respect for those who put their lives on the line to protect yours. They are Heroes!