The road to spoiled...

Where is the line that leads to spoiled?

When I think about raising kids I want nothing more then to raise a child who is confident, respectful, and obedient.  What I don't want is to raise an entitlement child, you know, the ones who think you owe them everything and are suppose to do whatever THEY want.  I have always been a firm believer that it starts when they are young but now that I have the "young" child I begin to question where is that starting point leading to spoiled?  

Is the starting point when you allow your toddler to ride a small bicycle through the Goodwill store?  I could lie and say I let her ride it because it wouldn't fit in the buggy, but I really let her do it because it made her so happy and had I not let her ride it she probably would have thrown a fit. Or was the line when I said she could have the bike in the first place since she already had a bike, but I rationalized she needed a bike at her Grammy's house too.  Had the bike not been only $10, I probably would have simply told her no and eventually just left the store without looking around, but it was only 2 McDonald's trips (yes, I judge costs based on how many times I cannot go to McDonald's in order to pay for it).

Is the starting point when you bring toys to restaurants with you to keep toddlers entertained so they don't run around causing trouble?  At what point do you stop letting them bring toys?  At what point do you expect them to sit and behave on their own?  Are you suppose to even bring toys because then they expect to always bring toys?

Is the starting point when you plan your day doing everything your child wants to do so they are always entertained?

Where is the line?  This is always my problem, I over think every decision I make and get it in my head that I have just set myself up for failure when it comes to raising my daughter.  I know that she is still very young and her having fun is about the only thing she really understands right now.  I know I cant expect her to sit and entertain herself all day long and NOT get into things she is suppose to leave alone but I cant seem to turn the worry off.  

When creepy guys follow you...

Wednesday night after class I stopped by Kroger on my way home to pick up some oatmeal since Colleen ran out and would go crazy if she didn't have it in the morning to eat.  It was around 9:15 by the time I got out of the store and as I walked to my car I noticed a guy sitting in his car and when I passed the car again after pushing my buggy back to the front of the store he started his car, which the sound made me jump a little.  I figured he was waiting for someone and saw them walk out of the store so I got in my car and started to leave.  I then noticed the other car pull out without anyone else getting in.  I left the parking lot and got into the turning lane at the light, as did the creepy guy.  I made my turn and there was nobody else in the lane so the creepy guy was able to turn as well, but rather then accelerate normally the car crept very slowly as if they were purposely putting distance between us.  I got to the next light and turned as did the other car and officially got weirded out.

Could it have been a coincidence that we were going the same way?  Absolutely, however, the way he was sitting in the car and the position the car was in (far end of the parking lot with view of the entire area) and how he seemed to wait for me to put my groceries in the car, put my buggy up and get in the car before he decided to leave the store seemed a little to fishy to me.

I was going to continue to drive home, giving the guy the benefit of the doubt that it was a coincidence but I had the overwhelming urge to call Mark and just tell him and expected him to laugh a little at my craziness, however the reaction I got was much different.  "Hang up the phone and call 911, stay on the phone until they pull the guy over and do not come home!"

During his instructions I notice the creepy guy u-turn in a place a normal person would not turn around at this late at night.  I figured if he was following me he saw my phone light up and got scared off (or I really was thinking too much into it).  Nevertheless it never occurred to me NOT to go home.  As Mark put it, even if he didn't pounce that night, the guy would know where I lived and could attack at any time when his truck was not there.  That thought actually scared me...I could have very well lead the creepy guy to my house and gave him open access to me and Colleen.

So, if you ever think some creepy guy is following you take the following actions (as given by my wonderful husband who also happens to be a cop and instructor for things like this)...

- Do not go home.
- Stay in well populated, lit areas
- Do not stop or get out of the car
- Call 911 and stay on phone with them, giving area updates until a cop makes it to you and pulls the creepy guy over.

Even if the creepy guy wasn't creepy after all and I read too much into it, this experience has opened my eyes to what could have been and now know what to do if the situation ever arises again.

Colleen is 2!!!

The past year has brought so many new milestones in my little girl's life...

So much has changed in so little time...

Birthday Mornings

She has learned how to use a fork and spoon to eat, drink from a water bottle and even a big girl cup.

She has learned how to talk and people can even understand her...started out one word at a time and now can carry on a small conversation.  She can tell you what she wants to eat (I want oatmeal) and drink (I want apple juice!) tell you where she wants to go play (I go to park and play), and even what she wants to do (I want to play basketball).  

She has learned to ride her little tricycle using the peddles.  This girl is AMAZING on her bike, she can go forward, backwards, turn into circles, maneuver around furniture and even back right up to something and do a 3 point turn without hitting anything. 

She has a great memory, all you have to do is ask her where she hid Mommy's keys, what she did with the fan remote, or where her cup is, etc. and she goes strait to get the item.  They are usually hiding in her bike trunk or the play kitchen oven.

She knows how to play cook...most adorable thing ever is her asking if I want eggs and watch her go to her play kitchen with the spatula and "make Mommy eggs". 

She knows sounds and recognizes every type of vehicle...the look on her face when she hears an airplane (ayrplane) or helicopter (helekopter)...her eyes get even brighter when she hears a choo choo train and she explodes excitement when she sees or hears a motorcycle (motorkykle).  (If you cant tell by now, she spends ALOT of time with her daddy).

She is a big helper...when her daddy comes home from work she has to help him take off and lock away his gun belt and take off his shoes and socks and tickles his feet (of which her mommy has taught her that they are "stinky feet").   She doesn't stop there...she also helps to put the boots away.  Her favorite helping activity is cutting the grass.  I am sure the neighbors love the fact that she loves to ride with her daddy on the lawn mower for hours...they eventually run out of grass to cut and have to put it away. 

She knows her way around a playground too.  She loves to "whee" ( aka swing) and go really high and go down the slide, sometimes even goes up the slide. 

She says the "God is Great" prayer, can count to 5, sing her ABCs (minus a few letters), twinkle twinkle little star, Jesus loves me, the itsey bitsey spider, and dance to I'm a little teapot.  She knows several of her colors (although if you ask her what color something is...the answer will always be PINK).  She loves to play "the bird" which is my IPad, don't ask me how it got named "the bird" and has even taught me cool tricks on it. 

She LOVES to color and write her name, both Doodle and Colleen and can almost spell her name (she has the C O E E N). 

She is very demanding, when she sits on the floor you have to "sit on floor too!"  She has to do everything on her own "I do it!"

She is good at saving money, every time she finds a coin she has to put it in her piggy bank or in her pocket if we are not home.  Her Grammy has taught her that the small plastic card is "money" and now anything about that size is money too (business cards, ID cards, etc.)

I am SO lucky to be the mommy of this precious little girl!  Mommy loves you Honey, Happy Birthday!!!

Mommy's favorite Colleen sayings/doings...

"I wuv you Mommy!"

"(Insert name here) C'MON!"

Making fishy face

Giving hugs and kisses

"Wub my bak" (rub my back)

"May-I-get-down-please"

"Read book and rock"

"Papow!"

Rubbing Bella's belly

"No touch hinney"

"I pass gas"

"Kitty!  Off Da Table!!"

Least favorite Colleen sayings/doings...

"Mommy, I poopo"

"Bye bye Mommy"

A Parent's Love

A Parent's Love....

A parent's love is a very powerful thing.  A child who is loved and disciplined with love will grow up healthy and happy and at the same time a child who is raised not disciplined and alone will grow up wanting.  I am determined that my daughter will be loved and raised right.  Every day I search for ways to better myself, better my parenting, better my marriage, always learning and loving.

I am a firm believer that time spent with children is more important then anything else.  You cannot buy time, not with toys or candy.  This is one of the reasons I do not care much about money.  I would rather not buy myself fancy things rather then take away time with my family.  Granted right now I am away for two nights a week at school, but I decided to do this now when Colleen is still very young and will forget I was ever missing then when she was older.  I am not going to school to chase money, rather the opportunities that will come with my CPA license.  I also know my husband is more then capable to love my daughter while I am not home.

It is amazing to see what she does with her daddy...the routine of things she has to do with him from taking off his shoes, socks and tickling his feet to helping him put his gun belt in the closet and help him lock it.  She knows to say the blessing at dinner and ask if she can be done and get down.  One of her favorite things to do is ride the "tractor" with daddy and go on a grass cutting spree of the neighborhood (which I feel is teaching her how to love her neighbors).  My husband is very good at showing her how to be kind to others, how to be loving and respectful, and how to be ADORABLE!  

Some of the most important things I want my daughter to learn is to have manners, treat everyone with respect, not to be judgmental, and to love.

When you know you have "The One"

Not every day is a good day but at the end of the day, even those bad days, I can still see the future with you in it. 

On those bad days all I have to do is think about all the good things you do and my heart is full of love again...

I think about how nervous you were standing in front of everyone on our wedding day all while wondering what was going through your head.

I think about your giggles you couldn't stop when I told you we were having a baby then watching as you ran to the bathroom to see for yourself.

I think about you comforting me during my meltdown of being a "horrible mom" cause I didn't wake up when our tiny baby cried - smiling at me and reassuring me that it was ok, that I was tired and you took care of her and I knew then that you would always be there because no matter how hard I try, I am not Supermom. 

I think about you crawling out of Colleen's room on your hands and knees beckoning her back into the kid filled room after she escaped so that I could have a purse party without the kids.

I think about the puppy dog look you give me when you know you messed up bad that time.  If I didn't know better I would think you do that on purpose because I cant stay mad looking at a face like that.

I think about you jumping up and down with your fists clenched imitating one of my hissy fits.

I think about the many stories I have been told by others of how you have made a difference in their lives, the kind things you have done that you didn't have to do. 

I think about the father you are; while you may not be the perfect father, you make it really hard to find the imperfections and I could not think of a better person to be the father of my children. 

Most of all I think about how you hold me when I have a bad day, knowing there is nowhere safer then right there in your arms. 

The thing I want you to remember is although there are bad days sometimes, on those bad days I still know YOU are THE ONE for me. 

Happy Birthday Honey!  I am thankful for being able to spend this GREAT day with you!

The Game of Life

Really bad days come every so often, and on those days you want to do nothing but curl up in a ball and cry for hours. Then comes the day after the bad day and on that day you collect up the pieces from the day before and ever so slowly begin to glue them back together...

Today is the day after the bad day and I am filled with hope despite the fact that I only have half a tooth (one of my very expensive crowns may I add) but everything happens for a reason right.  Just have to figure out what the reasons for this is...perhaps it is reaffirming the need to build up the savings account. 

This morning I also attended a Parent Summit at the church where they discussed how to, and the dangers of, raising a child.  While I already knew the principles of most of what was talked about I did learned a few ways of making discipline not such a hassle.  Although many of the things discussed, such as monitoring kids with technology (which I have FULL intentions of doing) do not pertain to me yet due to Colleen's age.  One thing I am going to really try to do is treat discipline more as the game of life - "uh oh...you did it again...time to start back at go".  Perhaps if I keep this in mind then I can discipline in a loving way and not in an angry way.  One thing that was stressed was to make sure your child knows they have a choice and they are responsible for their actions. 

I know I really want to be the type of parent that does not live one way and teach my children to do another.  I will model the behavior I want them to follow because I know this is the best teaching tool.  To do this I know I need to learn a few things such as controlling my temper better. 

I know being a parent is hard, stressful, and testing but most of all it is SO rewarding and I want it to be just as rewarding for the kids.  

Distractions

Distractions – I face them every day; they take away from what is important, take away my time and fill it with nonsense.  For some reason when I take away one distraction it is replaced with several more.  Am I that much of a procrastinator that I have to have these distractions in my life or am I that paranoid to do something perfect that I give into distractions to keep from failing? 

I can’t think of the last thing I have finished completely and it was stopped by checking Facebook, looking for better ways of doing whatever on Pinterest, catching up on the TV shows I hadn’t watched all week and so many other things.  I can only imagine what I could get done if I got rid of all these distractions – how much happier I would be knowing that I accomplished something and didn’t fail at getting it done.  I would feel so much better walking into a clean house, knowing what I was cooking for dinner (and having the stuff to make it), cooking something different and it actually taste good, having a pretty house cause I actually made that thing I pinned on Pinterest months ago and thought “I would LOVE to do this”. 

Lately I have been so out of control, so many things have distracted me from the things I want the most, distractions that I can’t say mattered at all.  I felt horrible on Monday night because I didn’t get to watch the Bachelorette and I felt worse for caring so much that I missed it.  Something so small as a TV show would get me so upset that I decided that this was the last season I would watch it so I wouldn’t have that feeling again.  I get so upset over things that don’t matter and am determined to fix it.  Why should I get upset over the distractions???  On top of the distractions upsetting me, I get even more upset for allowing myself to be distracted. 

I have to figure out a way to handle some of the stress in my life.  I have been having too many meltdowns and I hate it.  I feel more out of control when I waste time rather than getting things done.  I hate feeling like I failed when someone walks into my house and it is a mess, even more when I hadn’t been watching my bank account and there is that “uh oh” moment.  I haven’t been able to pinpoint what has been triggering my meltdowns but I think I will be able to limit them if I get some control back by ridding myself of the distractions.