Those who know me know that my world has completely changed in the past year and a half. I got married the first time at the age of 19 without testing the waters of how life or love is suppose to be. The divorce was finalized 3 years later and a year later here I am married to my love Mark. The road to love was suprisingly easy when I found the right person and when I said "I Do" it was the easiest thing I've ever done. Along with a new husband I also became a step-mom to a 5 year old boy who keeps you on your toes.
Now that I'm with someone I truely love I've become a bit possessive. With my first husband I would tell him to go find him someone else to keep him "happy" but now if a slutty whore looks Mark's way I am ready to pound that bitch. I would like to say I am understanding and reasonable and that I trust my husband (which I do) but I cant help that I'm jealous sometimes. Granted he does have quite a few female friends and I'm fine with that as long as I know about them. I wont make him disregard his friends because I'm a little insecure. Along with his friends he has a few ex's too - he is still in contact with one which she's cool but Mark use to joke that if she didnt like me I would never know it cause I wouldnt feel a thing...Its a good thing she dont hate me.
I've been known to snoop ALOT but sometimes is good that I do cause you find out things you never knew was a problem (I also have a bad habit of skirting around issues and going on random tangents). Mark's past makes me want to be a better person - I want to know what everyone elses faults were so I dont do the same things. I know it sounds completely bitchy but I want to be better than the others - that way he doesnt have a reason to look back and say "why am I not with (whats-her-name) anymore" (part of my having to know everything problem). Is it bad for me to want to be better in order to keep his attention?
There is so much I want to learn...Shooting is a major one. Mark, being who he is , is big into shooting and so are all his friends. I feel so out of place sometimes when they are all talking about different guns and what ammo it takes or whatever and I sit there with a blank look on my face. Mark tries to put it into it into dummy terms for me but most of the time it doesnt work. I only know two of Mark's guns...the Glock and Black Beauty (his sniper rifle)...the others are just whatever and I couldnt pick them out if I tried. Learning is gonna be a little hard for me because of my vision problems. Most of the guns I cant see the sights to know where I'm gonna put the bullet - thats why I like the Glock cause I can see where they are. Mark use to go to shooting competitions and eventually I would like to shoot well enough to do it too. It would be something fun we can do together. Besides I need some sort of hobby.
I also want to learn to quilt - Mark has this collection of police patches and I thought it would be kinda neat to display them on a quilt...problem is that I dont know how to sew one bit let alone how to put a quilt together. I've decided I'm going to learn (just dont ask me when cause I havent decided that yet).
I could go on and on but then I wouldn't have anything else to blog about for a while - at least until someone pisses me off LOL.
Later
