There are a few advantages of being a Cop’s wife…
1. The work rotation leaves several days during the week off so there is no need to pay a sitter.
2. The security of knowing that your husband knows what to do in a dangerous or emergency situation.
3. The confidence of your husband’s driving skills with your family in the car – since after all he drives all day long with no problem and can keep the car on the road going 100+ mph in a chase.
4. Hand cuffs are always readily available for kinky sex (I’m Kidding – but just as a quick plug - my mom does sell Surprise Parties if you ever wanted fuzzy cuffs or anything else like that).
There are also many disadvantages of being a Cop’s wife…
1. Bad shifts – although we have an advantage that Mark rarely works a night shift he does have to work many holidays that we have to work around.
2. Negativity – sometimes when people find out you are married to a cop you get the “I hate cops” speech.
3. Sometimes plans are changed – sure I may have a romantic dinner planned but every once in a while the day doesn’t end at 6 p.m.
4. Potential of your husband having to use deadly force on duty – my husband has had to do this twice in his career – very scary. (See “Fear of Single Parenthood”)
5. Potential of your husband not coming home at all…
Here lately there have been stories upon stories of cops being killed in the line of duty and occasionally even when they were off duty and just trying to help others that they thought were in need. It scares the crap out of me that there are so many people in the world that have no concern of another human’s life. Cops are not the bad guys, they are mothers and fathers, sons and daughters, sisters and brothers just like everyone else in this world. They work every day to keep us safe. Sure you may get pulled over for speeding but whose fault is that that you are breaking the laws and putting other drivers lives at risk??? Not the cops. It is not their fault that you are arrested for breaking the law – it’s yours! You have to live with the consequences of the choices you make. Cops merely do their job and often get a bad rep for it because people think it is unfair that they broke the laws and get caught for it. So many take it to the worst level by killing cops because they are cops. How absurd is that? That’s like someone taking my life because I’m an accountant and they owed taxes this year – stupid right? It’s no more my fault for your tax situation than it’s a cop’s fault that you broke the law.
A cop is more than someone writing tickets and arresting bad guys and if people actually got to know their police officers they would know that. They are the ones helping you when you are in an accident, or when your home is on fire (along side of firefighters), they are the ones running to gun shots when everyone else is running away, they are the ones simply changing your flat tire for the little old ladies who can’t do it themselves, they are the ones keeping your kids from being hit by cars and making sure they make it home safely when they sneak out of the house. There is this stereotypical view that cops are bad. We need to teach our kids the true value of police officer – quit buying them games like Grand Theft Auto where you get into gun battles and run from the police. I’m a firm believer that situations like this numb kids over time to the reality of the situation and they think it’s ok to do things like this in the real world.
I understand that my husband is in a line of work that is dangerous and that one day he might not come home from his shift because some ignorant SOB decided his crimes were more important than my husband’s life or because of an accident. I pray every day that he goes to work that this won’t happen to him but in the back of my mind I know the possibilities of this happening. While sometimes I wish my husband had a different job where I wouldn’t have to worry so much about his safety, I know that this is who he is regardless of a badge or a uniform.
If you don’t get anything out of this post, pay attention to this – this is a man, a son, a brother, a father, and my husband who is out there keeping you safe – don’t take him away because you are selfish – don’t think badly of him or anyone else in his profession because you can’t follow the laws. Pay attention to what you are doing – teach your kids right from wrong – and show respect for those who put their lives on the line to protect yours. They are Heroes!
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Monday, October 24, 2011
Ten Secrets to a Successful Marriage
I found list in an article (you can view the story HERE) on Focus on the Family and it fit perfectly into my latest life changing declarations. While I had discovered some of these on my own I still have to work on others.
1. Happiness is not the most important thing. Everyone wants to be happy, but happiness will come and go. Successful couples learn to intentionally do things that will bring happiness back when life pulls it away. (This is very true. My daddy use to tell us growing up that nobody can make you happy, you have to choose to be happy. There are times that I feel like I could never make myself happy – usually that happens each month for about 3 days – and during those times I have to ask my husband to PLEASE do something nice for me just so I can have that little boast of happiness.)
2. Couples discover the value in just showing up. When things get tough and couples don't know what to do, they need to hang in there and be there for their spouse. Time has a way of helping couples work things out by providing opportunities to reduce stress and overcome challenges. (I have to work on this – I have a tendency of trying to handle things on my own rather than including my husband and when I can’t do it I get frustrated with him, thinking that he should KNOW that I needed him – sadly my husband cannot read my mind. I have to learn to start asking for help dealing with situations just so he can be there to lean on.)
3. If you do what you always do, you will get same result. Wise couples have learned that you have to approach problems differently to get different results. Often, minor changes in approach, attitude and actions make the biggest difference in marriage. (I can only tell my husband so many times to do something - it's amazing what gets done when I ASK him to do it.)
4. Your attitude does matter. Changing behavior is important, but so is changing attitudes. Bad attitudes often drive bad feelings and actions. (I have been practicing this recently and it has made a big change in my marriage even with it being only a few days into my new outlook on my attitude and how I handle situations. Read "Changing my ways and putting my Husband first")
5. Change your mind, change your marriage. How couples think and what they believe about their spouse affects how they perceive the other. What they expect and how they treat their spouse matters greatly. (Again something I have been working on and has made a big change in my marriage. I have come to realize there is a large difference between how men and women think and without realizing this I would put a lot of blame on my husband for some of the things he did because it is not how I would have done it. I forget sometimes that we are married, which means there are two people here and we needed to figure out how both of us function and work together.)
6. The grass is greenest where you water it. Successful couples have learned to resist the grass is greener myth – i.e. someone else will make me happy. They have learned to put their energy into making themselves and their marriage better. (Both my husband and I have been married and divorced before and are determined not to do it again. I also think that if you are married that you should not put yourself in positions that could potentially create that “grass is greener on the other side” attitude – meaning that if you ever feel attracted towards someone else you need to sever that relationship immediately.)
7. You can change your marriage by changing yourself. Veteran couples have learned that trying to change their spouse is like trying to push a rope – almost impossible. Often, the only person we can change in our marriage is ourselves. (Last week I would have said this was BS – now I would swear by it. There is nothing that I can do to change someone else but I can change myself and how I view things in life.)
8. Love is a verb, not just a feeling. Everyday life wears away the "feel good side of marriage." Feelings, like happiness, will fluctuate. But, real love is based on a couple's vows of commitment: "For better or for worse" – when it feels good and when it doesn't. (Read my blog post “Love is a Choice”)
9. Marriage is often about fighting the battle between your ears. Successful couples have learned to resist holding grudges, bringing up the past and remembering that they married an imperfect person – and so did their spouse. (My husband gets onto me sometimes about my tendency of keeping score and he is right (not many times I get to say this) In marriage you have to forgive and forget otherwise you will be 80 years old with a whole lot of hate in your heart.)
10. A crisis doesn't mean the marriage is over. Crises are like storms: loud, scary and dangerous. But to get through a storm you have to keep driving. A crisis can be a new beginning. It's out of pain that great people and marriages are produced. (Because of me and my husband’s “divorce is not an option” mindset we are able to ride out the storms – we might not be happy doing it but it’s not always about being happy right?)
1. Happiness is not the most important thing. Everyone wants to be happy, but happiness will come and go. Successful couples learn to intentionally do things that will bring happiness back when life pulls it away. (This is very true. My daddy use to tell us growing up that nobody can make you happy, you have to choose to be happy. There are times that I feel like I could never make myself happy – usually that happens each month for about 3 days – and during those times I have to ask my husband to PLEASE do something nice for me just so I can have that little boast of happiness.)
2. Couples discover the value in just showing up. When things get tough and couples don't know what to do, they need to hang in there and be there for their spouse. Time has a way of helping couples work things out by providing opportunities to reduce stress and overcome challenges. (I have to work on this – I have a tendency of trying to handle things on my own rather than including my husband and when I can’t do it I get frustrated with him, thinking that he should KNOW that I needed him – sadly my husband cannot read my mind. I have to learn to start asking for help dealing with situations just so he can be there to lean on.)
3. If you do what you always do, you will get same result. Wise couples have learned that you have to approach problems differently to get different results. Often, minor changes in approach, attitude and actions make the biggest difference in marriage. (I can only tell my husband so many times to do something - it's amazing what gets done when I ASK him to do it.)
4. Your attitude does matter. Changing behavior is important, but so is changing attitudes. Bad attitudes often drive bad feelings and actions. (I have been practicing this recently and it has made a big change in my marriage even with it being only a few days into my new outlook on my attitude and how I handle situations. Read "Changing my ways and putting my Husband first")
5. Change your mind, change your marriage. How couples think and what they believe about their spouse affects how they perceive the other. What they expect and how they treat their spouse matters greatly. (Again something I have been working on and has made a big change in my marriage. I have come to realize there is a large difference between how men and women think and without realizing this I would put a lot of blame on my husband for some of the things he did because it is not how I would have done it. I forget sometimes that we are married, which means there are two people here and we needed to figure out how both of us function and work together.)
6. The grass is greenest where you water it. Successful couples have learned to resist the grass is greener myth – i.e. someone else will make me happy. They have learned to put their energy into making themselves and their marriage better. (Both my husband and I have been married and divorced before and are determined not to do it again. I also think that if you are married that you should not put yourself in positions that could potentially create that “grass is greener on the other side” attitude – meaning that if you ever feel attracted towards someone else you need to sever that relationship immediately.)
7. You can change your marriage by changing yourself. Veteran couples have learned that trying to change their spouse is like trying to push a rope – almost impossible. Often, the only person we can change in our marriage is ourselves. (Last week I would have said this was BS – now I would swear by it. There is nothing that I can do to change someone else but I can change myself and how I view things in life.)
8. Love is a verb, not just a feeling. Everyday life wears away the "feel good side of marriage." Feelings, like happiness, will fluctuate. But, real love is based on a couple's vows of commitment: "For better or for worse" – when it feels good and when it doesn't. (Read my blog post “Love is a Choice”)
9. Marriage is often about fighting the battle between your ears. Successful couples have learned to resist holding grudges, bringing up the past and remembering that they married an imperfect person – and so did their spouse. (My husband gets onto me sometimes about my tendency of keeping score and he is right (not many times I get to say this) In marriage you have to forgive and forget otherwise you will be 80 years old with a whole lot of hate in your heart.)
10. A crisis doesn't mean the marriage is over. Crises are like storms: loud, scary and dangerous. But to get through a storm you have to keep driving. A crisis can be a new beginning. It's out of pain that great people and marriages are produced. (Because of me and my husband’s “divorce is not an option” mindset we are able to ride out the storms – we might not be happy doing it but it’s not always about being happy right?)
Friday, October 21, 2011
Changing my ways and putting my Husband first...
This past week has been one big rollercoaster; I’ve felt so out of control with everything that has gone on and I’ve been desperately grasping at anything that would give me some feeling of control again. I’m a planner – I have to have a plan in place to function happily and if I feel like there is something unknown I have to do something to try to fix it. A recent discovery regarding my sister and her religious beliefs, or lack thereof, has put my planning gene in hyper drive. I don’t want to wake up in 20+ years and realize that I didn’t do everything I could to ensure my kids grew up the way I wanted them to.
I’ve done a lot of reading this week regarding family, religion, kids, money, etc. and found several things I need to change in my life so my plans for the future will be easier to obtain. After realizing what we needed to do now I had written my husband an email with the some issues I wanted to find solutions for and we could work on them together and get on the same page. When I got home that night I tried to squeeze out of him some answers with no avail. With disgust I went to bed and the next morning someone told me that sometimes we need to just do things ourselves. With this in mind I have been able to see some of my own faults.
The first thing I need to change is putting my husband first. While I always thought I put my husband’s needs first, I did learn a lot of bad habits from my mother regarding how to treat my spouse. I tend to nag and get upset when things are not done when and how I want them done. I’ve rationalized that if my husband really cared he would do it because I want it done. What I failed to realize was while he may not do the task right then I cause more damage to our relationship by complaining about it. I’ve realized there is also a LARGE difference between how men and women think which has in the past been the cause of a lot of upset feelings on my part.
I remember one night a few months ago I was so upset with Mark over something, which I don’t remember what it was now, but I got him mad enough that he actually raised his voice (very rare for him – very common for me). Colleen was in the room and when the argument got loud she began to cry and I felt HORRIBLE – how could I upset her over something that she had no fault in? Growing up I watched my parents fight A LOT and rarely ever saw them nice to each other. I remember being upset because they fought so much and I don’t want my children to ever feel that way. This is one of my big faults, I need to work on keeping my cool in the heat of the moment and if I am still upset about it later I can discuss it with Mark behind closed doors. I don’t want to teach my children how to be mean and hateful, especially to the ones they love.
I tend to have a shared responsibility mentality, again - the difference between men and women, in which I feel like if I am doing everything that it’s not fair and get upset about it. It doesn’t matter that I am more upset that the house is a mess (since I quit doing it since nobody else is) because I live in that moment of anger that nobody is helping. This again is something I need to work on with myself. I cause more damage to myself and my relationship with my husband by not just getting things done myself – I might not enjoy doing the work on my own but it will be short lived rather than dragged out over days because it is sitting there staring me in the face every day.
Recently I have been putting a lot of thought into religion and church and how I want our family to grow spiritually. Not growing up in church has put a lot of questions and uncertainty in this process but I am trying to figure it all out so that my kids won’t feel this way when they get older. This too is something I have been bitter about that I need to train myself to think differently about. Mark, growing up in church, knows what is going on regarding religion whereas I am a lost little puppy. He has no problem helping me with this but there has been a lack of communication and guidance as to how we make this happen so in my eyes, he had put it on the back burner but in his he has been waiting for me (again the difference between men and women). I have now decided that if I want to learn, I need to do it myself. I cannot depend on anyone else to do it for me. We can still grow as a family and do things together but I need to do some extra studying and learning on my own before I can fully be in a position to teach my children the same. With this decision I can also let go of the irritation I had with my husband for not taking charge.
There are so many things that go on in life that I can continue to write for days but the truth of the matter is that when I step back and look at what my expectations are and how I go about having those expectations met, I have a lot of flaws in my methods. After giving up on the thought that Mark was going to help me with my planning and began to do it on my own, Mark had a change of heart and actually began participating in my planning. I was ecstatic (although some of his ideas were not exactly what I was thinking when I began making my list but nonetheless I wrote them down for him). This morning I noticed he hung up Lil Mark’s chore/behavior chart in his room (I had asked him to do this the other night but he said he would do it later so he wouldn’t wake the kids) but I had wanted it in the hallway. My first reaction was “grrr!” so I called Mark to inform him I wanted it in the hall but I tried a different method than I normally would have done. First I thanked him for hanging up the chart then I told him I wanted it in the hall. Normally I would have been hot headed and complained to him about why did he put it in the room and he would have been upset that here he did hang it up but I was still not happy. Rather than anyone being upset he simply said that we could move it – not a problem. The more I thought about it the more it actually made sense to have it in the child’s room and this would also give me the chance to get in there and move out some unnecessary junk. I later told him this and felt so much better about myself and our relationship because I wasn’t angry and didn’t let my knee jerk reaction go too far.
As I was getting ready for work this morning I had another “ahh ha” moment. On Wednesday Mark had gotten into some trouble at school – apparently he found a little girl’s ice cream ticket and erased her name and claimed it as his own. This was one of those times that you sit back and try to grasp why the child would do this when he knew it was wrong. Mark handled it very well and was very fair and hard on Lil Mark regarding the issue and I was very impressed. It was definitely one of those life lesson situations. Anyway, while I was getting ready this morning I was thinking about this and how I know I would not have known what to do had Colleen done the same thing. I realized Mark is very good with the large issues and punishments and not so good with the smaller issues but that was ok because I was good with catching and dealing with the smaller issues and not so sure how to handle the larger ones – we are a good match. Of course when I made this discovery I called Mark to tell him that we were a good match and I could hear the smile in his voice and could almost see his eyes roll as he said “you just figured this out?”
I’ve done a lot of reading this week regarding family, religion, kids, money, etc. and found several things I need to change in my life so my plans for the future will be easier to obtain. After realizing what we needed to do now I had written my husband an email with the some issues I wanted to find solutions for and we could work on them together and get on the same page. When I got home that night I tried to squeeze out of him some answers with no avail. With disgust I went to bed and the next morning someone told me that sometimes we need to just do things ourselves. With this in mind I have been able to see some of my own faults.
The first thing I need to change is putting my husband first. While I always thought I put my husband’s needs first, I did learn a lot of bad habits from my mother regarding how to treat my spouse. I tend to nag and get upset when things are not done when and how I want them done. I’ve rationalized that if my husband really cared he would do it because I want it done. What I failed to realize was while he may not do the task right then I cause more damage to our relationship by complaining about it. I’ve realized there is also a LARGE difference between how men and women think which has in the past been the cause of a lot of upset feelings on my part.
I remember one night a few months ago I was so upset with Mark over something, which I don’t remember what it was now, but I got him mad enough that he actually raised his voice (very rare for him – very common for me). Colleen was in the room and when the argument got loud she began to cry and I felt HORRIBLE – how could I upset her over something that she had no fault in? Growing up I watched my parents fight A LOT and rarely ever saw them nice to each other. I remember being upset because they fought so much and I don’t want my children to ever feel that way. This is one of my big faults, I need to work on keeping my cool in the heat of the moment and if I am still upset about it later I can discuss it with Mark behind closed doors. I don’t want to teach my children how to be mean and hateful, especially to the ones they love.
I tend to have a shared responsibility mentality, again - the difference between men and women, in which I feel like if I am doing everything that it’s not fair and get upset about it. It doesn’t matter that I am more upset that the house is a mess (since I quit doing it since nobody else is) because I live in that moment of anger that nobody is helping. This again is something I need to work on with myself. I cause more damage to myself and my relationship with my husband by not just getting things done myself – I might not enjoy doing the work on my own but it will be short lived rather than dragged out over days because it is sitting there staring me in the face every day.
Recently I have been putting a lot of thought into religion and church and how I want our family to grow spiritually. Not growing up in church has put a lot of questions and uncertainty in this process but I am trying to figure it all out so that my kids won’t feel this way when they get older. This too is something I have been bitter about that I need to train myself to think differently about. Mark, growing up in church, knows what is going on regarding religion whereas I am a lost little puppy. He has no problem helping me with this but there has been a lack of communication and guidance as to how we make this happen so in my eyes, he had put it on the back burner but in his he has been waiting for me (again the difference between men and women). I have now decided that if I want to learn, I need to do it myself. I cannot depend on anyone else to do it for me. We can still grow as a family and do things together but I need to do some extra studying and learning on my own before I can fully be in a position to teach my children the same. With this decision I can also let go of the irritation I had with my husband for not taking charge.
There are so many things that go on in life that I can continue to write for days but the truth of the matter is that when I step back and look at what my expectations are and how I go about having those expectations met, I have a lot of flaws in my methods. After giving up on the thought that Mark was going to help me with my planning and began to do it on my own, Mark had a change of heart and actually began participating in my planning. I was ecstatic (although some of his ideas were not exactly what I was thinking when I began making my list but nonetheless I wrote them down for him). This morning I noticed he hung up Lil Mark’s chore/behavior chart in his room (I had asked him to do this the other night but he said he would do it later so he wouldn’t wake the kids) but I had wanted it in the hallway. My first reaction was “grrr!” so I called Mark to inform him I wanted it in the hall but I tried a different method than I normally would have done. First I thanked him for hanging up the chart then I told him I wanted it in the hall. Normally I would have been hot headed and complained to him about why did he put it in the room and he would have been upset that here he did hang it up but I was still not happy. Rather than anyone being upset he simply said that we could move it – not a problem. The more I thought about it the more it actually made sense to have it in the child’s room and this would also give me the chance to get in there and move out some unnecessary junk. I later told him this and felt so much better about myself and our relationship because I wasn’t angry and didn’t let my knee jerk reaction go too far.
As I was getting ready for work this morning I had another “ahh ha” moment. On Wednesday Mark had gotten into some trouble at school – apparently he found a little girl’s ice cream ticket and erased her name and claimed it as his own. This was one of those times that you sit back and try to grasp why the child would do this when he knew it was wrong. Mark handled it very well and was very fair and hard on Lil Mark regarding the issue and I was very impressed. It was definitely one of those life lesson situations. Anyway, while I was getting ready this morning I was thinking about this and how I know I would not have known what to do had Colleen done the same thing. I realized Mark is very good with the large issues and punishments and not so good with the smaller issues but that was ok because I was good with catching and dealing with the smaller issues and not so sure how to handle the larger ones – we are a good match. Of course when I made this discovery I called Mark to tell him that we were a good match and I could hear the smile in his voice and could almost see his eyes roll as he said “you just figured this out?”
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
It takes a village...
Children are running around hitting, screaming, telling parents what to do, and being all out disobedient. Why? Is it because parents don’t have the help they need? Is it because the schools can no longer do anything about it? Is it because spankings are a thing of the past for the majority of the population? I think it is a combination of all the above. One thing I have learned is that no child is the same – therefore not one type of discipline fits every child but one thing is for certain – when disciplining a child, consistency is key.
I was raised getting spankings – not that I was a bad child but I did have my share. Now that I am an adult, while I am not against spankings, I have learned it is not the only effective tool to disciplining children. I have a step-son, who is going to be 8 on Friday, and while I had to adjust to my role as supporter I proved my own theory that children also adjust to certain people and situations. While I thought giving spankings was the only way to make a child behave it was not my place to be the one to dish out that type of punishment, I have never laid a hand on him, but he listens to me and when he is with me he behaves. I credit this to my consistency with him – when I say no – I mean it and when he does something he is told not to do I take action – whether it be sitting down for a time out or taking something away – whichever the situation called for. Since spanking was not an option for me to do I had to adjust. Now if a situation warrants a spanking and I am by myself, I deal with whatever it is until his father gets home and allow him to take over from there.
Something my husband has shoved into my head is “its different when it is your own kid” and while I brushed it off I am beginning to see the truth in that statement. This is why I think me not being Mark’s biological parent has been a blessing in disguise because I can see things that his father can’t and hopefully he will grow up to be a better person because of it. This is also where I think society has gone wrong – because it is different when it comes to your own kids, when punishment left the school system so did the outside support to keep children in line.
How many times have you seen a child not listening to their parents? A LOT! But what do we do? Nothing - we think to ourselves “that parent needs to get a handle on that child” instead of helping them. Parenting is exhausting at times and it’s a 24/7 job – sometimes parents just want the child to shut up so they give into them, creating a bigger problem then what was going on at the moment. I wonder how many parents would be offended if a stranger backed them up by saying “your mother/father said no, you need to listen to them” – and if they are offended – why? I can understand if a stranger came up and started correcting an action without giving the parent time to react (unless it is a very dangerous situation) – but to be supportive after the order is given is something different. We as a society need to step up and help raise the youth. Single parents I believe have an even harder time – I for one would hate to have every decision lying on my shoulders and unfortunately a lot of people are in this position.
This entire blog can be summed up in one saying – “it takes a village to raise a child” but can we become that village again? Nobody wants to feel like they can’t raise their children to be respectable adults on their own but if you think back to the past – kids were never raised by just their parents. People were not afraid to speak up when a child misbehaved, teachers took matters into their own hands, and children were respectful in fear of getting that spanking they deserved if they weren’t. Most children in today’s society fear nothing…
See also my blog about Raising Kids
I was raised getting spankings – not that I was a bad child but I did have my share. Now that I am an adult, while I am not against spankings, I have learned it is not the only effective tool to disciplining children. I have a step-son, who is going to be 8 on Friday, and while I had to adjust to my role as supporter I proved my own theory that children also adjust to certain people and situations. While I thought giving spankings was the only way to make a child behave it was not my place to be the one to dish out that type of punishment, I have never laid a hand on him, but he listens to me and when he is with me he behaves. I credit this to my consistency with him – when I say no – I mean it and when he does something he is told not to do I take action – whether it be sitting down for a time out or taking something away – whichever the situation called for. Since spanking was not an option for me to do I had to adjust. Now if a situation warrants a spanking and I am by myself, I deal with whatever it is until his father gets home and allow him to take over from there.
Something my husband has shoved into my head is “its different when it is your own kid” and while I brushed it off I am beginning to see the truth in that statement. This is why I think me not being Mark’s biological parent has been a blessing in disguise because I can see things that his father can’t and hopefully he will grow up to be a better person because of it. This is also where I think society has gone wrong – because it is different when it comes to your own kids, when punishment left the school system so did the outside support to keep children in line.
How many times have you seen a child not listening to their parents? A LOT! But what do we do? Nothing - we think to ourselves “that parent needs to get a handle on that child” instead of helping them. Parenting is exhausting at times and it’s a 24/7 job – sometimes parents just want the child to shut up so they give into them, creating a bigger problem then what was going on at the moment. I wonder how many parents would be offended if a stranger backed them up by saying “your mother/father said no, you need to listen to them” – and if they are offended – why? I can understand if a stranger came up and started correcting an action without giving the parent time to react (unless it is a very dangerous situation) – but to be supportive after the order is given is something different. We as a society need to step up and help raise the youth. Single parents I believe have an even harder time – I for one would hate to have every decision lying on my shoulders and unfortunately a lot of people are in this position.
This entire blog can be summed up in one saying – “it takes a village to raise a child” but can we become that village again? Nobody wants to feel like they can’t raise their children to be respectable adults on their own but if you think back to the past – kids were never raised by just their parents. People were not afraid to speak up when a child misbehaved, teachers took matters into their own hands, and children were respectful in fear of getting that spanking they deserved if they weren’t. Most children in today’s society fear nothing…
See also my blog about Raising Kids
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