Sister wives…while I would NEVER approve of my husband having more than one wife (besides it being illegal and against my morals of marriage) I am in a roundabout way a sister wife. Before you think I’ve converted to Mormonism let me explain. I’ve been watching the show Sister Wives and the idea of each of the women taking care of the other children as their own isn’t that far off from being a step-parent. If you really think about it, you have a guy who had a previous relationship with someone else, had a child, who is now part of your family. In a perfect situation everyone in the past and present relationships would get along and raise the child or children because they all have the same agenda – to raise a happy, healthy child to be a well rounded adult – right?
Perhaps it’s my nature not to want to fight with people and live with the Golden Rule of treating everyone fairly and equally. I don’t think that just because relationships don’t work out sometimes does not mean that you have to hold hostility towards them and anyone else they might begin or have a relationship with. I understand the hesitance of a mother allowing another woman to step up and say “hey, I’m a parent too” because I wouldn’t want to do it but if something ever happened between Mark and myself I would want a close relationship with the woman who would be helping him raise my daughter when I wasn’t around. I would rather get to know the woman and have that friendly atmosphere rather than my child see hostility there. Why make the situation any more difficult?
I have seen parents try to make the other parent’s life miserable just because they could and I don’t understand the logic behind it. Our situation has sometimes turned heads because Little Mark’s mom and myself had been able to get along (most of the time a lot better than she and Mark did) and we were able to work out issues with each other. People thought that was weird and I find myself thinking it’s weird NOT to do what you can to keep peace in your family.
All in all, if you haven’t seen the show I would actually suggest you watch a few episodes. Yes – some of it is different but all in all it shows that anyone can get along – even women whose husband is sleeping with each of them.
Just a quick warning for my husband – there will NEVER be another woman romantically in your life so DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.
Being a step mother can be a wonderful thing. It can also be a horrible thing, it depends on the ex wife. My marriage fell apart due to a vicious, downright evil ex wife who could not let my husband go. She would call us at 2 am weekly and deny it, though pressing star 69 lead back to her number. She showed up at the hospital when our daughter was born though we asked her politley to not be there. She egged our home. She drank every single night and when she wouldn't get the response she wanted from us she'd hit and cuss my step daughter until she would call her father crying and begging for help. IE...he had to get on the phone with her. She ruined our marriage. We are now seperated because of it. I can't live the rest of my life with that evil woman being a part of it. So yes, it would be wonderful if all the parents could get along. It's not always possible though.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you had a horrible experience. Being a step parent IS hard and I must balance a very thin line at times and the only person I have any control over is myself so I put A LOT of work into being a better person every day. I know it's not the ideal situation for you and your daughter but you know what damage can be caused if you dont keep the peace and how it will affect your and your ex's child. I hope everything works out for you. Good luck.
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