Money…why do so many people hold this as their highest priority? You know the saying “Money does not buy happiness” – well it’s true. I consider myself lucky to have realized this early in life so I don’t waste my life chasing the dollars. While money is important to have in order to live my life, I don’t live FOR money. Are our finances tight? Absolutely. Do I worry about finances, or lack there of – constantly; but we always make it to the next week, the next month, the next year with a roof over our heads and have never gone hungry.
I could easily go make more money – I’m 26, have a BS in accounting complete with 9 years of experience in a CPAs office and I’m sure there are plenty of firms that would be willing to give me a chance, but what would I give up? I currently work in an office that is very family oriented – any time I need off to take care of my family – I got it. My office is not more than 5 minutes from my house – I don’t have a long commute that takes away from the time I could be spending with my family. I am able to bring my daughter to work with me if needed or leave to make doctor’s appointments. How many people can say that about their job? To me that is more important than making another dollar or two.
Mark has offered up several times the option of going overseas for a year to make a lot of money and every time I have shot it down. No amount of money could replace that year I lost with him and he lost with his children. I know there are so many people who are separated from their families because of their job and duty to their country – that is different…they don’t go for the money.
As many know, my husband is a police officer, and well…cops don’t get into the business for the pay and the pay in the city he’s at REALLY sucks but I’d rather suck it up and watch our finances carefully and not go out to eat all the time rather than have to deal with shift work at a different department. I’d rather not have matching furniture then him hate his job somewhere else. Sure, he has a lot of days off and could easily get a second job as many cops do but I’d rather Colleen get to spend her days with her daddy then in a daycare. The time she gets with her daddy is priceless.
Looking at my life in this light – I am very blessed to be in the position I’m in – looking at my checkbook some would wonder how we manage…we just get what we need and put our wants aside. I will never again let money rule our life.
Monday, January 23, 2012
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Dedicating our lives to God
On January 29th we will stand in front of hundreds of people and dedicate our lives to teaching Colleen about God which will (hopefully) eventually lead to her accepting Christ as her savior. This little girl is the reason I am breaking all of my comfort levels with church and diving in head first. For us to be able to fulfill this promise we are making to God, ourselves, and the congregation of the church, we are going to have to make some changes in our home.
While our home is a loving one it is not necessarily a God honoring home (which I need to teach myself how TO BE God honoring). As I tried to explain to my husband, just because you are a good person does not mean that you are honoring God; it IS possible for a person to be a good person and not be a Christian. So while currently we teach not to lie, cheat, steal etc, we do not teach that we do this because it is God’s will. We do not currently pray either and honestly I don’t even know if there is a procedure to prayer or if you just wing it. When I talked to Mark about our dedication we would be making to pray with our children I had to ask him “do you pray?” I told him that if I didn’t know if he prayed or not then how would our children ever learn how to do it – I think he finally understood my point of how we had to change our ways.
Not only do we need to start outwardly showing our faith we need to watch ourselves with our actions in other areas. Perhaps over time everything will mesh together and it won’t have to be a conscious effort but in the mean time I have a few things I need to correct in my life. I know that I need to watch what I say. I tend to have a sailor’s vocabulary sometimes and I really need to cut that out completely. I don’t want my daughter to one day come up and repeat one of the words I have used. When I use one of those words, I know the image I portray is disrespectful and that is not who I am. I tend to have a hot temper which does not teach my children anything positive and I don’t want them to repeat my mistakes. While I can come up with a whole list of things he needs to watch, he has to decide that on his own (ie: his nasty stuff) but I need to be more respectful to my husband so my daughter will learn how to treat her husband positively.
I made the first of MANY steps to accomplish my overall goal by spending almost an hour on Monday sending out emails to everyone imaginary at the church asking for guidance, trying to find a small group to join, registering for classes etc. I would be a lot more comfortable if I could find someone to hold my hand and just TELL me what I need to do. I was thankful that at least one person responded back for a small group and we went last night. It was a little more comforting to know that the leader of the small group is one of the pastors of the church, whom I’m sure, is very accustomed to answering a lot of questions once I figure out what questions to ask.
All in all I am on my way to being able to lead the way so my daughter will have a good understanding and love for God as he loves her.
While our home is a loving one it is not necessarily a God honoring home (which I need to teach myself how TO BE God honoring). As I tried to explain to my husband, just because you are a good person does not mean that you are honoring God; it IS possible for a person to be a good person and not be a Christian. So while currently we teach not to lie, cheat, steal etc, we do not teach that we do this because it is God’s will. We do not currently pray either and honestly I don’t even know if there is a procedure to prayer or if you just wing it. When I talked to Mark about our dedication we would be making to pray with our children I had to ask him “do you pray?” I told him that if I didn’t know if he prayed or not then how would our children ever learn how to do it – I think he finally understood my point of how we had to change our ways.
Not only do we need to start outwardly showing our faith we need to watch ourselves with our actions in other areas. Perhaps over time everything will mesh together and it won’t have to be a conscious effort but in the mean time I have a few things I need to correct in my life. I know that I need to watch what I say. I tend to have a sailor’s vocabulary sometimes and I really need to cut that out completely. I don’t want my daughter to one day come up and repeat one of the words I have used. When I use one of those words, I know the image I portray is disrespectful and that is not who I am. I tend to have a hot temper which does not teach my children anything positive and I don’t want them to repeat my mistakes. While I can come up with a whole list of things he needs to watch, he has to decide that on his own (ie: his nasty stuff) but I need to be more respectful to my husband so my daughter will learn how to treat her husband positively.
I made the first of MANY steps to accomplish my overall goal by spending almost an hour on Monday sending out emails to everyone imaginary at the church asking for guidance, trying to find a small group to join, registering for classes etc. I would be a lot more comfortable if I could find someone to hold my hand and just TELL me what I need to do. I was thankful that at least one person responded back for a small group and we went last night. It was a little more comforting to know that the leader of the small group is one of the pastors of the church, whom I’m sure, is very accustomed to answering a lot of questions once I figure out what questions to ask.
All in all I am on my way to being able to lead the way so my daughter will have a good understanding and love for God as he loves her.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
My issues with the health care system...
I’ve had an “AH HA!” moment this weekend while at Sister’s house. It was decided that I had to watch a documentary about how horrible the health care in America really is (which I knew it was bad already) and how other countries are able to provide healthcare to all of its citizens equally across the board and it got me on my soap box in regards to my health care.
Currently Colleen and I are the only ones in the house with health insurance and the only reason I am covered along with her is because 5 months before she was born the rules changed and I could no longer get a child only policy, they now have to be on a policy with an adult. So I had to work the figures to see who we could afford to cover with her – because of Mark’s age it was going to cost over $150 more to insure him and Colleen than it would cost to cover me and her, we couldn’t afford to cover everyone. We don’t live an extravagant lifestyle in the least bit, we don’t go out and spend money on things we don’t need either. The only reason I could afford to get the insurance is ONLY because my car was paid off around the same time Colleen was born and I still had to get a policy with $3500 deductible to get the premiums to an amount we could afford. In the first 2 months of Colleen’s birth we already racked up over $6000 in hospital bills because of 2 hospital stays, once for jaundice and the second for what turned out to be a stomach bug – but at 2 months old you can’t not take a child to the doctor when she is having bloody stools and a high fever.
With my policy I only get 3 sick visits a year before I have to pay my deductible in order for them to pay another dime for my care. Last year I ended up developing a staph infection and within one week I used up all of my visits due to follow up appointments so when a few months later when I developed clogged earwax duct, which later turned into a really bad ear infection, I racked up almost another $1000 of health care costs on top of the premiums I already pay. The insurance company paid out less than $900 for my doctor visits last year and I paid over $1500 in doctor bills and co pays (for just me) and that is NOT including the $1900 I paid in premiums for the year. The only good my insurance is for is so that IF something major happens to me I will only have to pay $3500 of the X(thousand) of doctor/hospital bills.
If I end up pregnant the insurance will cover NOTHING for it because I can’t afford to add maternity benefits. We had no insurance when I had Colleen and luckily I had money in an IRA to take out to pay for the birth center where I delivered her. Had I delivered her in a hospital I would have had to pay AT LEAST $10000 but at the Birth Center I only had to pay around $4000. If I had maternity benefits it would cost an extra $250 a month in premiums AND I would have to pay those premiums for a year before they would pay anything for the pregnancy. So in essence I would have to pay $250 for at the bottom end 20 months (the year before and during the pregnancy) which comes to an extra $5000 for a birth that would cost only $4000 if I delivered at the Birth Center again…the insurance company just made $1000 for me to have a baby – how is that right??? Why not build more birth centers and all insurance policies include pregnancy? Who says that you HAVE TO deliver in a hospital? Women have delivered babies at home and with midwifes since the beginning of time – delivering at a hospital is a new development and all it does is drive up health care costs.
How much of the health care costs are going to Doctor’s malpractice insurance because everyone has gone sue happy? How much is going into the insurance companies pockets? Why is it fair that people like me have to choose who in the family gets to have health insurance and who doesn’t? People who make a lot of money can afford to have the top of the line insurance and there are programs for the senior citizens and children of low income families to be covered but what about everyone else? Why is government run health care viewed as horrible? I would rather everyone have medical coverage than only the people who can afford it. People say that the health care would be awful if the government ran it, that people would have to wait to be treated, but what about those who don’t get treated now – how is this better for them? The government even pays for prisons have top notch medical treatment for its inmates but my husband has nothing because we make too much money for any aid and not enough money to cover it ourselves.
Why it is ok for insurance companies to make astronomical profits and the people they insure are denied benefits for any number of reasons is beyond me. Why is it ok for insurance companies to choose who they cover and who they don’t? It’s only ok because politicians are bought out by these companies and nobody can seem to put a stop to it. This is exactly why I hate politicians; they look out only for themselves and who can give them money and don’t give a damn for the people who just try to make a living but end up going bankrupt and lose everything because they got sick.
I’m not one to believe something just because someone told me it was true, which includes this documentary but I know the health care in this country is crap because I live it every day. Not only are my premiums high for the coverage I receive but I’ve had the insurance company deny me coverage the first time I applied because I was expecting a child (not to be confused with being pregnant) and had them deny claims due to my glaucoma being a pre-existing condition. It is apparently impossible to get child covered from day one of birth if a policy is not already in place on the parent which I believe is so insurance companies can deny a baby coverage if they are born with a medical condition that will continue throughout their life –I can be wrong, but I doubt it. Something has got to change and it needs to be more than allowing kids to stay on their parent’s insurance plans until they are 26 – there are still MILLIONS of people who are uninsured and in the same boat I’m in.
Currently Colleen and I are the only ones in the house with health insurance and the only reason I am covered along with her is because 5 months before she was born the rules changed and I could no longer get a child only policy, they now have to be on a policy with an adult. So I had to work the figures to see who we could afford to cover with her – because of Mark’s age it was going to cost over $150 more to insure him and Colleen than it would cost to cover me and her, we couldn’t afford to cover everyone. We don’t live an extravagant lifestyle in the least bit, we don’t go out and spend money on things we don’t need either. The only reason I could afford to get the insurance is ONLY because my car was paid off around the same time Colleen was born and I still had to get a policy with $3500 deductible to get the premiums to an amount we could afford. In the first 2 months of Colleen’s birth we already racked up over $6000 in hospital bills because of 2 hospital stays, once for jaundice and the second for what turned out to be a stomach bug – but at 2 months old you can’t not take a child to the doctor when she is having bloody stools and a high fever.
With my policy I only get 3 sick visits a year before I have to pay my deductible in order for them to pay another dime for my care. Last year I ended up developing a staph infection and within one week I used up all of my visits due to follow up appointments so when a few months later when I developed clogged earwax duct, which later turned into a really bad ear infection, I racked up almost another $1000 of health care costs on top of the premiums I already pay. The insurance company paid out less than $900 for my doctor visits last year and I paid over $1500 in doctor bills and co pays (for just me) and that is NOT including the $1900 I paid in premiums for the year. The only good my insurance is for is so that IF something major happens to me I will only have to pay $3500 of the X(thousand) of doctor/hospital bills.
If I end up pregnant the insurance will cover NOTHING for it because I can’t afford to add maternity benefits. We had no insurance when I had Colleen and luckily I had money in an IRA to take out to pay for the birth center where I delivered her. Had I delivered her in a hospital I would have had to pay AT LEAST $10000 but at the Birth Center I only had to pay around $4000. If I had maternity benefits it would cost an extra $250 a month in premiums AND I would have to pay those premiums for a year before they would pay anything for the pregnancy. So in essence I would have to pay $250 for at the bottom end 20 months (the year before and during the pregnancy) which comes to an extra $5000 for a birth that would cost only $4000 if I delivered at the Birth Center again…the insurance company just made $1000 for me to have a baby – how is that right??? Why not build more birth centers and all insurance policies include pregnancy? Who says that you HAVE TO deliver in a hospital? Women have delivered babies at home and with midwifes since the beginning of time – delivering at a hospital is a new development and all it does is drive up health care costs.
How much of the health care costs are going to Doctor’s malpractice insurance because everyone has gone sue happy? How much is going into the insurance companies pockets? Why is it fair that people like me have to choose who in the family gets to have health insurance and who doesn’t? People who make a lot of money can afford to have the top of the line insurance and there are programs for the senior citizens and children of low income families to be covered but what about everyone else? Why is government run health care viewed as horrible? I would rather everyone have medical coverage than only the people who can afford it. People say that the health care would be awful if the government ran it, that people would have to wait to be treated, but what about those who don’t get treated now – how is this better for them? The government even pays for prisons have top notch medical treatment for its inmates but my husband has nothing because we make too much money for any aid and not enough money to cover it ourselves.
Why it is ok for insurance companies to make astronomical profits and the people they insure are denied benefits for any number of reasons is beyond me. Why is it ok for insurance companies to choose who they cover and who they don’t? It’s only ok because politicians are bought out by these companies and nobody can seem to put a stop to it. This is exactly why I hate politicians; they look out only for themselves and who can give them money and don’t give a damn for the people who just try to make a living but end up going bankrupt and lose everything because they got sick.
I’m not one to believe something just because someone told me it was true, which includes this documentary but I know the health care in this country is crap because I live it every day. Not only are my premiums high for the coverage I receive but I’ve had the insurance company deny me coverage the first time I applied because I was expecting a child (not to be confused with being pregnant) and had them deny claims due to my glaucoma being a pre-existing condition. It is apparently impossible to get child covered from day one of birth if a policy is not already in place on the parent which I believe is so insurance companies can deny a baby coverage if they are born with a medical condition that will continue throughout their life –I can be wrong, but I doubt it. Something has got to change and it needs to be more than allowing kids to stay on their parent’s insurance plans until they are 26 – there are still MILLIONS of people who are uninsured and in the same boat I’m in.
Friday, January 13, 2012
Differences - why they matter
Yesterday I read a blog post “You marry whom you marry” and it got my gears turning (which typically scare my husband when they do that). So my brilliant plan was to go home, eat dinner, and talk with my husband about how we are who we are, how we differ from one another, and how our differences benefit each other. This was a task easier said than done because in my head I had it all played out how it was going to work and my husband was doing it different than how it was suppose to go (this is a problem I come across a lot). I was taking it seriously and he was being silly with it. One of his first comparisons were that I was ALWAYS right and he was ALWAYS wrong – I thought that was preposterous. I was not ALWAYS right but I’m right if he can’t prove that I’m wrong – just cause he can’t come up with a reason that I’m wrong does not mean that he is ALWAYS wrong. Although this conversation was not going how I pictured it, it was kinda comical when Mark demonstrated my temper tantrum I threw a few weeks ago when he wouldn’t listen to me (difference was I am always so serious and he is not). The discussion ended shortly after it began(my husband does not like to discuss things and I do) so I gave it up but not without ending it with “Fine, I’ll figure our differences out ALL BY MYSELF and write them down and you will just have to read them.” And so the list begins…
I’m young – He’s old(er)
He has a lot of life experience he can teach me and I keep him young and entertained.
I’m a planner – He’s a “fly by the seat of your pants”
If we were both planners we would never have any fun. While I keep us grounded and have our future in mind (and on paper) he helps when my plans don’t work and shows me that everything is going to be OK.
I hate politics – He loves them
I guess one person has to know what is going on in the world around them – and since he already had that job before I came into the picture I don’t have to do it. He keeps me informed on any drastic political moves and I inform him that he is taking it WAY over the top and needs to tone it down a little and bring him back into the middle and not so much on the Right wing (a term I would have never known without him).
I’m serious – He’s “fun”
Where kids are involved, he likes to be the fun dad and eat potato chips for lunch (not really) and I like to make sure they are fed on time, bathed on time, in bed on time, teeth brushed, hair combed etc. He is a VERY good dad and that is one thing I love the most about him.
We are different in a lot of other ways but we mesh very well too. I am the one harder to live with because I am so picky – I like certain order, I like things done the same way and my poor husband has to deal with my wrath when it’s not done right and of course he always manages to mess it up somehow, good thing he is so easy going. Perhaps that’s something I need to work on…helping him figure out how to do it the right way (I’m KIDDING..kinda).
I’m young – He’s old(er)
He has a lot of life experience he can teach me and I keep him young and entertained.
I’m a planner – He’s a “fly by the seat of your pants”
If we were both planners we would never have any fun. While I keep us grounded and have our future in mind (and on paper) he helps when my plans don’t work and shows me that everything is going to be OK.
I hate politics – He loves them
I guess one person has to know what is going on in the world around them – and since he already had that job before I came into the picture I don’t have to do it. He keeps me informed on any drastic political moves and I inform him that he is taking it WAY over the top and needs to tone it down a little and bring him back into the middle and not so much on the Right wing (a term I would have never known without him).
I’m serious – He’s “fun”
Where kids are involved, he likes to be the fun dad and eat potato chips for lunch (not really) and I like to make sure they are fed on time, bathed on time, in bed on time, teeth brushed, hair combed etc. He is a VERY good dad and that is one thing I love the most about him.
We are different in a lot of other ways but we mesh very well too. I am the one harder to live with because I am so picky – I like certain order, I like things done the same way and my poor husband has to deal with my wrath when it’s not done right and of course he always manages to mess it up somehow, good thing he is so easy going. Perhaps that’s something I need to work on…helping him figure out how to do it the right way (I’m KIDDING..kinda).
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Why risk it?
Why do you do it? Why do you every day put that nasty shit in your mouth knowing that one day it can take you away from your family, especially your kids? You don’t have to worry about anything because when your nasty habit claims your life you won’t have to live with the pain – your family will – I will. You will task me and your kids with taking care of you when you can’t take care of yourself anymore. Your choices will one day tear your family apart – for what? You would rather take the easy road rather than suffer for a few weeks of withdrawals and leave your family to take the hard road of living without you. How selfish can you be? How do you choose to continue to do this when you know what is at stake? By the time a doctor tells you the same thing I have it will be too late. Is this that important that you can’t try to give it up?
You should have a clue what it is like worrying about someone – worrying that they may not come home that night because of their job could at any point kill them. Now look at what I have to go through…not only do I have to worry about you coming home each night but then I have to worry about if the job doesn’t kill you, the nasty shit will. Either way I’m helpless to change any of it. You train, you shoot, you kill bad guys so you can come home but yet every day you kill yourself a little more with each dip – kinda stupid if you ask me.
When news got out last year that you “killed yourself” (mistaken identity) you made sure everyone knew that if that actually happened to call every 3 letter agency because someone killed you and made it look like a suicide but here you are, killing yourself.
Make me understand the logic behind this? If you love life so much why do you risk it? If you love your family as much as you say you do then why do you risk leaving them for dirt? You have a little girl who loves her daddy so much and if you don’t quit you are going to make her watch you wither away. You have a son who knows what you are doing and pleads with you every time he sees you put that nasty shit in your mouth to quit because he doesn’t want you to die either.
I can’t make you quit but I love you too damn much to not try – can you say the same?
You should have a clue what it is like worrying about someone – worrying that they may not come home that night because of their job could at any point kill them. Now look at what I have to go through…not only do I have to worry about you coming home each night but then I have to worry about if the job doesn’t kill you, the nasty shit will. Either way I’m helpless to change any of it. You train, you shoot, you kill bad guys so you can come home but yet every day you kill yourself a little more with each dip – kinda stupid if you ask me.
When news got out last year that you “killed yourself” (mistaken identity) you made sure everyone knew that if that actually happened to call every 3 letter agency because someone killed you and made it look like a suicide but here you are, killing yourself.
Make me understand the logic behind this? If you love life so much why do you risk it? If you love your family as much as you say you do then why do you risk leaving them for dirt? You have a little girl who loves her daddy so much and if you don’t quit you are going to make her watch you wither away. You have a son who knows what you are doing and pleads with you every time he sees you put that nasty shit in your mouth to quit because he doesn’t want you to die either.
I can’t make you quit but I love you too damn much to not try – can you say the same?
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