Why risk it?

Why do you do it? Why do you every day put that nasty shit in your mouth knowing that one day it can take you away from your family, especially your kids? You don’t have to worry about anything because when your nasty habit claims your life you won’t have to live with the pain – your family will – I will. You will task me and your kids with taking care of you when you can’t take care of yourself anymore. Your choices will one day tear your family apart – for what? You would rather take the easy road rather than suffer for a few weeks of withdrawals and leave your family to take the hard road of living without you. How selfish can you be? How do you choose to continue to do this when you know what is at stake? By the time a doctor tells you the same thing I have it will be too late. Is this that important that you can’t try to give it up?

You should have a clue what it is like worrying about someone – worrying that they may not come home that night because of their job could at any point kill them. Now look at what I have to go through…not only do I have to worry about you coming home each night but then I have to worry about if the job doesn’t kill you, the nasty shit will. Either way I’m helpless to change any of it. You train, you shoot, you kill bad guys so you can come home but yet every day you kill yourself a little more with each dip – kinda stupid if you ask me.

When news got out last year that you “killed yourself” (mistaken identity) you made sure everyone knew that if that actually happened to call every 3 letter agency because someone killed you and made it look like a suicide but here you are, killing yourself.

Make me understand the logic behind this? If you love life so much why do you risk it? If you love your family as much as you say you do then why do you risk leaving them for dirt? You have a little girl who loves her daddy so much and if you don’t quit you are going to make her watch you wither away. You have a son who knows what you are doing and pleads with you every time he sees you put that nasty shit in your mouth to quit because he doesn’t want you to die either.

I can’t make you quit but I love you too damn much to not try – can you say the same?