I’ve been searching and searching for a blog with the same
ideas as I have for myself and my family.
I kept thinking “I can’t be the only one to think this way” but after
empty searches I have given up on finding a “how to be me” blog and decided I
needed to make my own. First I have to
figure out how to be me comfortably…
How I protect who I want to be…
I am determined to have a great relationship with my husband
– granted some of my methods might be a little backwards but for the most part
I feel my determination will eventually prevail. Part of my dedication to my husband is my
commitment to him to remain faithful. I
have made comments in the past about me not having or wanting male friends because
I don’t want there to ever be the opportunity of an affair occurring. The comments I got from this were for the
most part unsupportive. This is
something I chose for myself and not for anyone else. I was basically told that because I chose not
to have male friends that I was not trusting and did not truly love my husband
cause if I did I would have nothing to worry about. I beg to differ – it is because I truly love
my husband that I keep myself away from potentially dangerous situations. Why would I need a friend (not acquaintance)
of the opposite sex at this point in my life?
If I need a guy’s opinion – I ask my husband; if I want to do “guy” things-
I do them with my husband. I am almost
certain that of those who had affairs, the affair started off as some type of
innocent friendship.
Along the same aspect of friendship – I have began to weed
out “friendships” (more like acquaintances) and cutting off connections with
those who have completely different viewpoints of what they want out of life. Just a few examples of this would be…
People actively seeking or involved
in extramarital relationships – I have no respect for those cheating on their
spouse. While I understand that people
have made mistakes in their past and I don’t hold that against them, but they
can control the present and prevent the future.
I do not want to be around or even
talk about drugs. I have never tried
them nor will I ever try them. Honestly,
even the discussion of someone else doing drugs makes me uncomfortable. I have nothing to prove to those who say I am
missing out or that there is nothing wrong with it. That’s fine – you do what you want to do but
keep it away from me and my family.
I do not need to drink and party
every night – I have a little girl at home who needs me more then I need to
have fun time. Perhaps when she is MUCH
older I will go out more but there is enough that I miss while I am at work – I
don’t want to miss out on more.
I will be a positive influence in my children’s lives. I will not let TV or video games raise my
kids. I will know and approve what they
watch, I will know their friends, I will take them to church, and I will tell
them NO.
I will be who I will be and not allow anyone to try to make
me more “relaxed” because I feel when I drop the values I hold close to my
heart, it’s not only me that I will fail, but my family too. I feel in today’s society I have to be even
more particular because there are so many negative influences, most of which go
unnoticed by so many. I have allowed
people to influence my decisions in the past to do things I regret and it may
happen again in the future – but it is going to be a fight getting to that
point.
This was a really good and insightful blog and I agree with all your points, especially the one about not needing or wanting friends of the opposite sex. Because once you're married, your spouse should be the only friend of the opposite sex you need. I have acquaintances, people I knew from high school or college as friends on facebook but I'd never go and hang out with them because I wouldn't feel comfortable doing that and I feel that my husband wouldn't be comfortable with it either and I respect him enough to not do anything that would cause him to have doubts, and likewise, I expect the same from him. Many of the people who have "friends" of the opposite sex or start friendships are the main ones you see getting divorced. I'm also with you on your opinion of those who openly seek to have affairs (you have no idea how much of that goes on in the military while spouses are away risking their lives) or those who have open marriages or are "swingers." I just think that's disgusting and adding more problems, for one, what kind of example is that setting for your kids? Also, people who do so are being very selfish and foolish because you cannot expect to have a sexual relationship with someone and not have feelings get involved. It's just creating confusion and more problems and trauma for any kids involved. So you're right in feeling the way you do, don't let anyone or anything keep you from being who you want to be, and raising your kids the way you feel they should be brought up.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the words of encouragement!
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