Fantasy vs. Reality

A few months ago a girl I know found out she was expecting and was SOOO sick; made me think of when I was pregnant, so that night I went home and pulled up my blog and went back in time and reread all my pregnancy blogs and asked myself – when did I get so negative and want to fix everything and everyone?  When I was pregnant I was so excited and positive even when I was puking in the bushes in the front yard or when I could hardly move because of the lack of food and water.  I don’t know when that excitement faded out.  Perhaps it was when I could no longer live in my fantasy world and the real world took over. 

Is it so bad living in a fantasy world?  A world where you think everything is going to be ok and nothing bad is ever going to happen?  Growing up I was always very naive, and I liked it that way.  One of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn was that people are not always nice and have your best interest at heart.  There are still some things I know but refuse to admit because I like life without that fact, is that bad?  Do we have to admit everything to ourselves?  Can we not live in a fantasy world if that is what makes us feel better? 

My husband gets onto me about my fantasy world when it comes to politics – he says I have to open my eyes and pay attention to what is going on around me.  My thoughts are that there are enough people worrying about that stuff so I don’t need to get myself bent out of shape about it so I just duck back into my shell and cast those thoughts aside and live in my politic free life. 

I always TRY to make the best out of every situation but after so long of trying it becomes harder and harder to see the light.  I try to make situations better, however, I try to do it by changing the other parties involved and get frustrated when they don’t listen.  So, being the planner that I am, I’m going to try even HARDER to lead by example and learn by other’s examples.

Last night my husband was the prime example of how to be a fun parent.  There were a total of 5 kids at the house, Colleen (18 months), a boy almost 2, another almost 4, and a 6 and 9 year old girl.  He had them all in Colleen’s room (which isn’t big enough for that many kids) playing and coloring.  Several times one would escape (most of the time it was Colleen) and there would be Mark – peeking his head around the corner from her room on his hands and knees, calling her back to the room.  She would get so excited seeing her daddy that she would run back over to him and laugh.  When the kids got tired of the room he took them all outside to play a game of “find the ball” – then to the back yard to pick flowers – never once complaining about entertaining the kids.  He was the perfect playful dad last night and I could only try to be as fun as he was with the kids.  THIS is what I want my life to be like – inspiring, fun, and positive - not negative.  Perhaps when I get a handle on that then everything will fall into place and I won’t have to live in my fantasy world – it will become my reality. 

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