Christian Atheists

Hypocrites -this is exactly the type of person that I didn’t want to be around and yet the churches are full of them. My views of church were so distorted that I could never find a church I was happy at. At one point I found a church I liked and attended for a few months but then it became known that the pastor was having an affair with another member of the church. I’m sorry if I didn’t want to associate with people who said they were “Christians” and were leading other Christians but were only Christians in public but behind closed doors they weren't.

My first hurdle to get over was a Christian who claimed they were so wonderful; they attend church regularly throughout the week, carry their Bibles everywhere and screamed “Look at me.” I found it hard to believe that someone who was SOOOO Christian turned away several family members because they don’t like their choices or because they couldn’t let go of something in the past. Isn’t that one of the basic Christian attitudes? To forgive and forget and not hold grudges. Aren’t we not suppose to judge others but help them instead?

I know that nobody is perfect and I know that everyone will do something against the Christian faith but what I don’t agree with are the ones who jump up and down saying “Here I am – a Christian – be like me” and yet they are far from what a Christian should really be like. I can overlook the ones who commit minor sins – because after all we are all sinners – but I have no respect for those committing adultery while preaching to others how a Christian is suppose to live their lives.

While I am a Christian – an immature Christian – I do not know everything it takes to be a God-honoring Christian however, I don’t go around cheating on my husband (and never would). I do on the other hand tend to have a sailor-like mouth and I do have a temper at times and I don’t always treat my husband with the respect that I should. Although I am not yet where I should be in my relationship with God, I don’t think of myself as a bad person either. I would be shocked if someone came up to me and honestly told me that I was a horrible person because I’ve always tried to treat others right; I’ve always tried to do the right things in life. I’ve just begun my journey and I know there are a lot of things I need to work on before I start jumping up and down saying “look at me – do as I do” because if someone looked at me and really examined my life as a Christian they would wonder – how are they any different than me? I don’t want someone to look at my life and say they don’t need God in their life based on my actions. So until I get my life in order don’t look at me as a model quite yet – I’m just learning.