I guess men DO change and my honey proved it. I’ve always been a big holiday/special occasion celebrator and Mark hasn’t. I remember the first holiday that came up while we were first dating, Father’s Day. Granted Mark wasn’t the father of my child at this point but he was a father nonetheless. He was so touched when I gave him a present “from his son” and a card I got signed for him. It was a small three photo frame that I filled with pictures of him and Mark Jr. (I had to snoop on to his computer and find some pictures). After he opened the gift he told me that he always had to buy his own father’s day presents in the past if he were to get one. I didn’t realize that he wasn’t use to celebrating ANY holidays.
I forget what happened with my birthday that year but I know it was something I was not use to. Valentine’s Day rolled around – our first one together – and he had to work that weekend and without telling me, he changed the date we were going to celebrate it to a day AFTER – so I sat around all day with his gift and card not knowing that we weren’t celebrating that day. After he finally informed me that he changed the date he did end up buying me a card at one of the gas stations and we had lunch together. He was given instructions that it was OK to change the date of celebrations as long as the other person knows OR it is changed to an earlier date. Fast forward a year to our first Valentine’s Day married and this time he didn’t even get a card. He figured we would go out to eat but hadn’t planned ahead or make reservations anywhere so we ended up driving all over Savannah then settling on Japanese in the Hill. I got my card the next day although it was an “I love you” card since all the Valentine’s Day cards had been pulled by the stores. My first anniversary card was a day late too and I began to expect him to not get a day right.
So my birthday was coming up and I told my husband – just make sure you get me a card – I don’t care about anything else. This was the first time I hadn’t had a countdown to my birthday, first time I wasn’t expecting anything since I told my husband that when I bought my Kindle that it was an early birthday present. Dinner plans were made with my parents and sister and I had an appointment to get my hair cut as a present to myself.
My birthday comes, and while sitting in the stylist’s chair I tell her that I wasn’t expecting anything from my husband and how I have been working on accepting the fact that he doesn’t think outside the box and he is set in his ways and I shouldn’t expect the fairy tales that I like to let my mind drift in. Little did I know how wrong I was at that moment.
We walk into a room at Holton’s and immediately bombarded with “Happy Birthday” and decorations. My honey threw me a surprise party! He even called my best friend (which I didn’t even know he had her number) and deleted the call history out of his phone because he knew I would see it if he hadn’t. It is very hard to hide something from me – I am the biggest snoop. On top of everything else he gave me a gift card to a spa to get a massage. He said he got it because I hadn’t done anything since I had Colleen and I deserved a time to relax. He put a lot of thought into everything…from having little Mark make me a card to signing Colleen’s card with a hand print (which turned into a pink blob) and making signs to hang on the walls. He got everything right and it showed me that he really paid attention to me and proved that men CAN change. This party came during a time I felt like I was slipping away from reality, feeling like a caretaker more than a person, feeling invisible, and it was exactly what I needed to feel special again.
(Card from Mark)
To My Wife
I am so glad I married you. I might not always say it, but I think you are the greatest wife, friend and woman ever…and I love you with all my heart.
Words cannot express how happy you have made me since we have been together. Through the ups and downs I have never lost sight of the reality that you mean more than the world to me.
Thank you for being my Alpha
Your Omega
(Card from Colleen)
Mom
You nurture me
You ease my pains
You care for me
You guide me
You cleanse me
You rock me to sleep
You nurse me
You play with me
You are patient with me
And you love me…
Mom, you’re a busy woman…
And I Love You
Punkie Doodle
(the card was signed with a pink hand print)
PS. Sorry bout the mess – daddy had a problem with my hand moving a lot :)
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