I found myself lately feeling down and defeated because I have no time to get done what I want and need to. I get little sleep at night because I want to stay up later to relax for a minute or to spend time with my husband who was busy watching something on TV. By the time I get to bed its pushing midnight and Colleen still wakes up most nights around 4 am for a feeding. Once she is up she stays in bed with me until I get up and generally she moves around and never fully falls back to sleep. From that moment on I feel like I’m playing catch up for the rest of the day. I stay in bed longer – hoping to catch up on some missed sleep, I rush around after my shower to catch up on the missed time from staying in bed, I eat on the go, I rush to mama’s or the sitter’s to drop off Colleen, rush to work, rush around at lunch. At lunch I have to feed the baby and myself then get to the gas station to get me a coke to wake up then back to work. After work I rush around figuring out what to cook for dinner, and then I try to play with Colleen after dinner is made but often times I feel so worn out from rushing around all day I find myself hoping she goes to bed early. I feel awful for that – I don’t want to wish she goes to bed early; I want my day to be peaceful, relaxed, and fun.
I find myself asking, what can I give up to make my life more meaningful? TV is the first thing that comes to mind. How much time does my family sit in front of the box in the corner? Generally if Mark is home during the day (2 or 3 days depending on which week it is) the TV is on when I get home from work and does not get turned off until bed. Hours are wasted – those same hours could be spent folding clothes, or cleaning the kitchen, playing with the kids, or even studying. What good is TV anyway? It takes away time you could read or spend time with your family as a whole since there is rarely a show that EVERYONE in the family will enjoy watching.
The computer is another thing that wastes a lot of time during the week. How much can Facebook really offer? Sure it is fun to keep up with everyone but generally there isn’t much but copied and pasted or “send me a board for my game” statuses.
A coworker told me a few days ago that she turns off the radio in the car and uses that time to talk to her kids and it got me thinking. Why do we have to have the radio on in the car in the first place? I get irritated with the parents who turn on their TV’s in the car for the kids for a trip to the grocery story – let them be bored for the ten minute drive but how is this different from me driving from my house to work (a 2 minute drive)? Why do I have to be entertained for those two minutes? Without the radio on I could reflect on the day, think of what I could cook for dinner, and even talk to whoever might be in the car with me.
I find myself asking what is more important for me to do. I want to spend time with my family, I want to play with my little girl, talk to my husband, and not feel like I’m spinning out of control and a clean house would help keep the chaos from being overwhelming. I want to exercise and learn how to sew. I want to learn about the Bible and attend church and not be so clueless about it all.
So here is my plan – cut out all the crap – don’t turn on the TV while the kids are awake and if my husband wants to watch it after they go to bed that is his choice. Plan my day in the morning when I wake up ON TIME, run my errands at lunch, come home knowing what to cook, eat as a family, play with the kids, take the family for a walk, get the kids ready for bed and when they go to sleep I can clean the kitchen and rest of the house (this will keep me from feeling so crazy trying to clean things while Colleen cries or wants attention), read the Bible and study as needed and practice my sewing on the weekends during Colleen’s naps.
Today, since I decided things needed to change, I turned off the radio in my car and relaxed on the way home, I came home and cooked dinner and after dinner we went on a walk and talked to some of the neighbors. Colleen ended up falling asleep on the way home so when we got back to the house around 8, I put her in bed. It wasn’t until after she went to sleep that Mark turned on the TV (since I turned it off when I got in the house) and now I am going to let my husband in on the plan and get some sleep to start tomorrow off right.
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